What difference does it make if I refer to her as a dyke? Or if I call the Whalers a bunch of faggots in the comfort of my own office, far from the sensitive ears of the rest of the world?

Banky Edwards

Margaret Lord: Are you one of the musicians?
Macaulay Connor: No!
Margaret Lord: Oh of course, you're Junius's friend. Only you're not. Do you have any violin strings?
Macaulay Connor: [digs in his pocket] I have an aspirin. Will that work?
Margaret Lord: I don't think so! It's for a violin. Oh well, no matter!


Fozzie Bear

You live, you die, you fight as brothers. Remember, nothing is as strong as family...


Sally Albright: I see people.
Harry Burns: See people? Have you slept with one person since you broke up with Joe?
Sally Albright: What the hell does that have to do with anything? That will prove I'm over Joe? Because I fuck somebody? Harry, you're gonna have to move back to New Jersey because you've slept with everybody in New York and I don't see that turning Helen into a faint memory for you. Besides, I will make love to somebody when it is making love. Not the way you do it like you're out for revenge or something.

That wouldn't have been necessary if that sesesh woman hadn't started it. They never learn. You see sesesh has to be cleared away by the hand of God like the Jews of old. Now I will have to burn this town.

Col. Montgomery

Riley Poole: Do you actually know who the first person to come up with the idea of daylight savings time was?
Abigail Chase, Ben Gates: Benjamin Franklin.
[Riely stomps down his foot in disappointment]

Tony: You'll come back a broken man.
Colin: Yeah, back broken from too much sex.

John Milner: What the hell's goin' on here, Toad? Hey, man, are you all right?
Terry Fields: Yeah, I'll die soon, then it'll all be over, John.
Debbie Dunham: Wow, you're just like the Lone Ranger.
John Milner: Yeah, yeah. Listen, are you with him?
Terry Fields: You're talking to the woman I love.
John Milner: What happened, man?

Jerry Maguire: What are you doing with me, Rod?
Rod Tidwell: Why?
Jerry Maguire: I'm finished, I'm fucked. Twenty four hours ago, man, I was hot! Now... I'm a cautionary tale. You see this jacket I'm wearing, you like it? Because I don't really need it. Because I'm cloaked in failure! I lost the number one draft picked the night before the draft! Why? Let's recap: Because a hockey player's kid made me feel like a superficial jerk. I ate two slices of bad pizza, went to bed and grew a conscience!
Rod Tidwell: Well, boo-f-cking-hoo

John Smith: Option A: You talk, we listen, no pain. Option B: You don't talk, I remove your thumbs with my pliers, it will hurt. Option C: I like to vary the details but the punchline... you die.

I own you, Pete. You're mine!


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