Mayor Vaughn: I don't think either of one you are familiar with our problems.
Hooper: I think that I am familiar with the fact that you are going to ignore this particular problem until it swims up and BITES YOU ON THE ASS!
The fact that you're not answering leads me to believe you're either (a) not at home, (b) home but don't want to talk to me, or (c) home, desperately want to talk to me, but trapped under something heavy. If it's either (a) or (c), please call me back.Harry Burns
Whitney: Oh, don't play dumb. We're better at it then you.
Courtney: You were having cheer-sex with him!
Hal: There's Rosemary.
Hal: Right there!
Mauricio: Is she behind the Rhino?
Dr. Claire Lewicki: Tell me what you love so much about racing.
Cole Trickle: Speed. To be able to control it. To know that I can control something that's out of control.
There's only one Miss Piggy, and she is moi!Miss Piggy
So I married Bob, for you! I had sex with Bob four times for you! So how can you call me a bad mother?Cindy
Larry Liddle: Miss?
Charlie's Angel #1: Yes sir?
Larry Liddle: It seems to me lookin' around, that it's almost all women workin' here; and that they're all very pretty. Is that common?
Charlie's Angel #1: Well... Congressman Wilson, he has an expression. He says uhh, "You can teach them to type, but you can't teach them to grow tits."
Larry Liddle: Well, that's... charming.
Rod: Lina, you're a beautiful woman. Audiences think you've got a voice to match. The studio's gotta keep their stars from looking ridiculous at any cost.
Cosmo Brown: Nobody's got that much money.
[after revealing her secret to Matt]
Jenny Johnson: Say "I'd rather have a chainsaw shoved up my ass than tell."
Matt Saunders: Is that a possibility?
Jenny Johnson: Say it!
Matt Saunders: Ok. I'd rather have a chainsaw shoved up my ass than tell.
Roger Thornhill: How do we know it's not a fake? It looks like a fake.
Bidder: Well, one thing we know. You're no fake. You are a genuine idiot.
Beanie: Don't say sorry to me. You let down Frank. You let down me. Most importantly you let down Max. And right about now I'm having a hard time trying to figure out why I take time out of my schedule to help you get over...
Beanie: Max can you earmuff it for me?
Beanie: That whore you dated.