If you cannot think of anything appropriate to say you will please restrict your remarks to the weather.

Mrs. Dashwood

You have Christ between your thighs... only with a shorter beard.


[to David] To answer your question, there are two reasons why I'm looking at you like this. One because it seems in a few minutes you will officially be the only survivor of this train wreck, and two, because you didn't break one bone. You don't have a scratch on you.

ER Doctor

Not at the table, Jose!

Alan Garner

Gordon: I got you a present
Libby: Aww thanks
Gordon: It's a CD, I hope you haven't got it. Because I don't have a receipt and I didn't exactly buy it.

Anakin Skywalker: Are you all right? You're trembling. What's going on?
Padmé: Something wonderful has happened. Ani, I'm pregnant.

Harry Sanborn: I can't get past your damn turtleneck.
Erica Barry: Cut it off!

Zack Mazursky: Marco
Julie Beckley: Polo
Zack Mazursky: Marco
Julie Beckley: [breathily] Polo
[they kiss]

Eve Kendall: How do I know you aren't a murderer?
Roger Thornhill: You don't.
Eve Kendall: Maybe you're planning to murder me right here, tonight.
Roger Thornhill: Shall I?
Eve Kendall: Please do.

William: I'll ride in his place.
Roland: What's your name, William? I'm asking you William Thatcher, to answer me with your name? It's not Sir William. It's not count, or duke or earl William. It's certainly not King William.
William: I'm aware of that.
Roland: You have to be of noble birth to compete!
William: A detail. The landscape is food. Do you want to eat or don't you?
Roland: If the nobles find out who you are there'll be the devil to pay.
William: Then pray that they don't.

No, it is not dangerous to confuse children with angels.

Quiz Kid Donnie Smith

Aunt Betty: Now Kate, we only want what's fair and what's fair is if Woody lends us back some money.
Kate Grant: You can all go fuck yourselves!

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