Who died and made you fucking king of the zombies?


Who wants to play with Willy?


Bird-Watching Woman: Over there. What sort of bird is that? Wait, it's not a woodpecker, it looks like someone's...
Army Sergeant: Privates. We have reports of an unidentified flying object. It has a long, smooth shaft, complete with...
Baseball Umpire: Two balls. [looking up from game] What is that. It looks just like an enormous...
Chinese Teacher: Wang. pay attention.
Wang: I was distracted by that giant flying...
Musician: Willie.
Willie: Yeah?
Musician: What's that?
Willie: Well, that looks like a huge...
Colonel: Johnson.
Radar Operator: Yes, sir?
Colonel: Get on the horn to British Intelligence and let them know about this.

[Listing superheroes he has met] Let me see, who else have I met? There's The Pincer, The Pickler, Princess Headbutt, um... White Flight And The Black Menace - they work together.

Invisible Boy

You know all my life, I have been waiting for an adventure. I thought it would never happen to me. I mean adventures are for Soldiers, or for bullfighters, the women fall in love with. Now, here I am. Paintings are moving and strange voices are calling for me at night, and all it cost me was FIVE GALLONS OF GAS.

Eleanor "Nell" Vance

If we are the ones to hand Potter to the Dark Lord, everything will be as it was, you understand?

Lucius Malfoy

Padme: We used to come here for school retreat. We would swim to that island every day. I love the water. We used to lie out on the sand and let the sun dry us and try to guess the names of the birds singing.
Anakin: I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything is soft and smooth.

Hunt them down. Do not stop until they are found. You do not know pain, you do not know fear. You will taste man-flesh.


Holden: How do you manage to get away with this all the time? I mean, shouldn't the cops be busting your head open right about now?
Banky Edwards: Wrong coast.

Higgins, at a time like this, it's positively indecent that you don't need a glass of port.

Colonel Hugh Pickering

This is one of my personal favorite parts of the tour. Please say hello to our residents, Pedro and his wife Inez. Inez is holding a clay pot that she seems very proud of. She has carefully detailed it with lots of paint and glaze. And Pedro is working on an "adobe." Can you say that with me? "Adobe".


If there's an empty space, just fill it with a line, that's what I like to do. Even if it's from another show.

Ron Albertson

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