Glen: How many Polacks it take to screw up a lightbulb?
H.I.: I don't know, Glen. One?
Glen: Nope, it takes three! ... Wait a minute, I told it wrong. Here, I'm startin' over. How come it takes three Polacks to screw up a lightbulb?
H.I.: I don't know, Glen.
Glen: 'Cause they're so darn stupid!

Danny Ocean: How old do you think I am?
Virgil Malloy: 48?
Danny Ocean: You think I'm 48 years old?
Virgil Malloy: 52?

Bruce Wayne: How will it hold up against dogs?
Lucius Fox: We talking Rottweilers or Chihuahuas? Should do fine against cats.

Chum: Humans. Think they own everything.
Anchor: Probably American.

I always find the fish. Always!

Captain Billy Tyne

[to Doris the Bowler Hat] I am NEVER going to invent you.

Lewis

Prince Naveen: [as a frog] I am Prince Naveen...
[Tiana squashes him with a book]
Prince Naveen: [weakly] ... of Maldonia...

I ask only for the strength to defend my people.

Boromir

C-3PO: I beg your pardon, but what do you mean, "naked?"
R2D2: [beeps]
C-3PO: My parts are showing? Oh, my goodness, oh!

Grim Reaper: I believe Colonel Mustard did it in the study with a candlestick.
Bill: Sorry, death, you lose! It was Professor Plum!
Grim Reaper: I said Plum!
Ted: No way! You said Mustard! Can we go back now?
Grim Reaper: Uh, best three out of five!
Ted: I don't believe this guy!

I better double bag it. I don't know where that girl been.

Kenny Fisher

Linda: I can fly.
George: You can't fly!
Linda: I believe I can fly.
George: If you're going to get literal with an R. Kelly song, do Trapped in the Closet...

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