Rosemary Cross: That's none of your business.
Max Fischer: I know it's not, but I just got hit my a car and I'm feeling a little confused.

Elle: It has come to my attention that the maintenance staff is switching our toilet paper from Charmin... to generic. All those opposed to chafing, please say "Aye."
Entire Sorority Group: Aye!

[Sin LaSalle and the DubMD's are standing in front of Chili Palmer's Insight]
Sin LaSalle: Well, imagine the odds, me and my crew was just out getting' some Mongolian barbecue and we stumble across your ol' weak ass ride.
Chili Palmer: Did you leave any food in Mongolia?

[realizing Matt has accidentally taken E] Oh, my God, this is gonna be amazing!

Eli

Barry the Baptist: Hello son, would you like a lolly?
Little Chris: Piss off, you nonce!

Don't worry, Master Wayne. It takes a little time to get back into the swing of things.

Alfred

I'd known her for years. We used to go to all the police functions together. Ah, how I loved her, but she had her music. I think she had her music. She'd hang out with the Chicago Male Chorus and Symphony. I don't recall her playing an instrument or be able to carry a tune. Yet she was on the road 300 days of the year. In fact I bought her a harp for christmas. She asked me what it was.

Frank

Same thing happened to me. They found me in a back alley when I thought I was Neil Armstrong and was trying to reenter the Earth's atmosphere in a refrigerator box.

Kirk Lazarus

Ben Gates: It's invisible.
Abigail Chase: Oh! Right.
Riley Poole: And that's where we lost the Department of Homeland Security.

Jess: Are you working an angle?
Nicky: I wouldn't trust him if I were you.
Jess: But I should trust you?

Elizabeth Halsey: Sign my yearbook.
Russell Gettis: Hold my ball sack.

Anthony: No, no, no, take that voodoo-ass thing off of there right now!
Peter: I know you just didn't call St. Christopher voodoo. Man's the patron saint of travelers, dog.
Anthony: You had a conversation with God, huh? What did God say? Go forth, my son, and leave big slobbery suction rings on every dashboard you find? Why the hell do you do that?
Peter: Look at the way your crazy ass drive, then ask me that again!

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