[about the soap] Tyler sold his soap to department stores at $20 a bar. Lord knows what they charged. It was beautiful. We were selling rich women their own fat asses back to them.


Tom: Splendid, I thought. What did you think?
Bernard: I, thought, splendid! What did you think?
Tom: Splendid, I thought.

Look... me and the McDonald's people got this little misunderstanding. See, they're McDonald's... I'm McDowell's. They got the Golden Arches, mine is the Golden Arcs. They got the Big Mac, I got the Big Mick. We both got two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles and onions, but their buns have sesame seeds. My buns have no seeds.

Cleo McDowell

Ned Flanders: Look at that, you can see the four states that border Springfield: Ohio, Nevada, Maine, and Kentucky!
Bart Simpson: Oh yeah.

Tell her that you love her. You've got nothing to lose, and you'll always regret it if you don't.


The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success.

Elliot Carver

[to Tony Mendez] You need somebody who's a somebody to put their name on it. Somebody respectable. With credits. Who you can trust with classified information. Who will produce a fake movie. For free.

John Chambers

Dirk: Does he want me to keep going until I come?
Amber Waves: Yeah. You just come when you're ready.
Dirk: Where should I come?
Amber Waves: Where do you want?
Dirk: Wherever you tell me.
Amber Waves: Come on my tits, if you can, okay? Just pull it out and do it on my stomach and my tits, if you can.

Remember what I said about people seein' a bright light before they die? It ain't true. I can't see a damn thing.

Morgan Earp

Elle: I don't need back-ups. I'm going to Harvard.
C.U.L.A. Advisor: Well then, you'll need excellent recommendations from your professors.
Elle: Okay.
C.U.L.A. Advisor: And a heck of an admissions essay.
Elle: Right.
C.U.L.A. Advisor: And at least a 175 on your LSATs.
Elle: I once had to judge a tighty-whitey contest for Lambda Kappa Pi. Trust me, I can handle anything.

Patrick Bateman: I'm on a diet.
Jean: What, you're kidding, right? You look great... so fit... and thin.
Patrick Bateman: Well, you can always be thinner... look better.
Jean: Then maybe we shouldn't go out to dinner. I wouldn't want you to lose your willpower.
Patrick Bateman: That's okay. I'm not very good at controlling it anyway.

Old Bishop: Pray that your years come swiftly, pray your beauty fades, so that you may better serve God.
Jocelyn: Oh and I do. I pray for it all the time.
[Looks up to God]
Jocelyn: Why God, did you curse me with this face?
Old Bishop: God's will has a purpose, though we may not understand it.
[Raises Holy Ring for Jocelyn to Kiss]
Jocelyn: [takes ring in hand and admires it] Oh how lovely!

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