Valentine McKee: What the hell's in those things, Burt?
Burt Gummer: A few household chemicals in the proper proportions.

Alvy Singer: I'm so tired of spending evenings making fake insights with people who work for "Dysentery."
Robin: "Commentary."
Alvy Singer: Oh really? I had heard that "Commentary" and "Dissent" had merged and formed "Dysentery."

The skin under your eyes is starting to look like Hugh Hefner's ball sack.

Jacob

Domino: I'm glad I killed him.
James Bond: You're glad?

Coach Boone: And who's team is this, Gary? Is this your team? Or is this your daddy's team?
Bertier: Yours.
Coach Boone: Now get on the bus. Put on your jacket first and then get on the bus.

Mozart: I actually threw the score on the fire, he made me so angry.
Salieri: You burned the score?
Mozart: No, no. My wife took it out in time.

Indiana Jones: [shouts] I told you...
[grabs a gun and shoots all soldiers]
Indiana Jones: Don't call me Junior!
Professor Henry Jones: Look what you did. I can't believe what you did...

Paul Sheldon: Why would you lose me?
Annie Wilkes: Book's almost finished, your legs are getting better. Soon you'll be wanting to leave.
Paul Sheldon: Why would I leave? I like it here.
Annie Wilkes: That's very kind of you, but I'll bet it's not all together true.
[pulls a gun]
Annie Wilkes: I have this gun.
[pulls trigger]
Annie Wilkes: Sometimes I think about using it. I'd better go now. I might put bullets in it.

We're not your classic heros. We're the other guys.

The Shoveller

There's someone on the wing! Some... THING! I'm sorry, what were you saying?

Ace

Is that... is that hair gel?

Mary

O.K., we'll stop, get pancakes and then we'll get laid, alright?

Carl Showalter

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