Barbara Jean: [she finishes singing a song at her concert] Thank you. I wanna tell you all a little secret which you might not know, and that is that last night I thanked my lucky stars that I could be here at all to sing for ya. I heard on the radio this little boy, nine years old. Sometimes a deejay'll play a tune and ask everybody to phone in and say how they like it. I was listenin', and this little nine-year-old called in. The song had voices in the background, like the way they use backup voices these days, soundin' like little munchkins. He called up, the deejay said, "How old are you, son?" The boy said, "I'm nine, and I think it's gonna be a hit. " The deejay said, "Why?" "Because it had those chipmunks in it. " And I thought that was so cute, because, well, I can sing like a munchkin myself. I'm real fond of The Wizard of Oz. Plus, I live out, you know, just a ways off of Interstate on the road to Chattanooga. So you can see why I kinda related to that. I think me and the boys are gonna strike up another tune for you now. Let's go, boys. I think there's a storm... seems like it's a-brewin'. That's what my grandaddy used to say before he lost his hearin'. Once he got deaf, he never talked much no more. 'Cept sometimes he'd say "Oh, gosh" or "Durn it" or "My word!" My granny'd go around clickin' her teeth to the radio all day. Boy, was she a lot of fun, and cooked my favorite, roast beef. She was a sweetheart. She raised chickens too. She, um... Did you ever hear a chicken sound? You know how chickens go? Here, chick, chick, chick. Here, chick, chick, chick. Anyway, I guess we'd better strike up this tune before it's too late. Okay, boys. The first job I ever really got... Grandma... She's the one who clacked her false teeth to the radio. She taught my mama how to sing, and my mama taught me. One time she took me, 'cause we was gonna get a new Frigidaire. She took me to the Frigidaire store where the man was advertisin'. This record was goin' 'round, and Mama told him I knew how to sing. He said, "If she learns this tune, I'll give y'all a quarter. " So Mama and I went home... And then what happened? Let's see, I think... Uh, yeah. We went home and I learned both sides of the record in half an hour. We went back and told him that I'd learned 'em, and he said, "Let me hear," so I sang both sides of the record instead of just one. So he gave us cents, and we went across the street and had us a soda. Ever since then I been workin'. I don't... I think ever since then I been workin' and doin' my... - Come on, come on. - Supportin'myself. Anyway...
Barnett: [comes up on stage and starts to pull her from the microphone] Hey, hey. Hey, hey.
Barbara Jean: Am I all right? Am I all right?
Barnett: Oh, you're fine, darlin'.
[he guides her offstage]

John J. Rambo: Go live your life, while you got a good one.
Sarah Miller: It's WHAT I'm trying to do!

Dialect Instructor: I would like to buy a hamburger.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I would like to buy a "damburgen".
Dialect Instructor: I would like to buy a ham-bur-ger.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I would like to buy a "damburgen".
Dialect Instructor: I would like to buy a hamburger!
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I would like to buy a "damburgen"!

It just ain't right cheatin' from a pregnant lady.

Joe Buck

Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to the Biff Tannen Museum! Dedicated to Hill Valley's #1 Citizen. And America's greatest living folk hero. The one and only Biff Tannen. Of course we've all heard the legend, but who is the man? Inside you will learn how Biff Tannen became the richest and most powerful man in America. Learn the amazing history of the Tannen family, starting with his great-grandfather, Buford 'Mad Dog' Tannen, the fastest gun in the West. See Biff's humble beginnings and how a trip to the race track on his 21st Birthday made him a millionaire overnight. Share in the excitement of a fabulous winning streak that earned him the nickname "The Luckiest Man on Earth." Learn how Biff parlayed that lucky winning streak into the vast empire called Biffco. Discover how, in 1979, Biff successfully lobbied to legalize gambling and turned Hill Valley's dilapidated courthouse into a beautiful casino-hotel!

Television announcer

Not only are you a cheat, you're a gutless cheat as well.

Doyle Lonnegan

Kumar: [about Doogie Howser, M.D] So, I gotta ask you Neil, did you ever get it on with Wanda off the set?
Neil Patrick Harris: Dude, I humped every piece of ass ever on that show.
Kumar: Even the chick who played the hot nurse?
Neil Patrick Harris: No... I didn't go all the way with her.

Jimmy 'Popeye' Doyle: You dumb guinea.
Buddy "Cloudy" Russo: How the hell was I supposed to know he had a knife.
Jimmy 'Popeye' Doyle: Never trust a nigger.
Buddy "Cloudy" Russo: He could have been white.
Jimmy 'Popeye' Doyle: Never trust anyone!

Young Biff: How do you know how to do that? Nobody can start this car but me.
Old Biff: Just get in the car, Tannen. Today's your lucky day.

Randal Graves: Well I don't wanna jerk off in the Mooby's bathroom. What if a customer comes in and my jerkin' off gets him all sex nuts and retard strong, and suddenly I'm fighting him off as he tries to jam my dick in his mouth?
Dante Hicks: The most likeliest of scenarios.

Am I the only fucking person who thinks this is fucking wrong?

Susan Hartunian

[voiceover] Come to Los Angeles! The sun shines bright, the beaches are wide and inviting, and the orange groves stretch as far as the eye can see. There are jobs aplenty, and land is cheap. Every working man can have his own house, and inside every house, a happy, all-American family. You can have all this, and who knows... you could even be discovered, become a movie star... or at least see one. Life is good in Los Angeles... it's paradise on Earth." Ha ha ha ha. That's what they tell you, anyway.

Sid Hudgens

FREE Movie Newsletter