Pete: You miserable little snake! You stole from my kin!
Ulysses Everett McGill: Who was fixin' to betray us.
Pete: You didn't know that at the time.
Ulysses Everett McGill: So I borrowed it until I did know.
Pete: That don't make no sense!
Ulysses Everett McGill: Pete, it's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart.
Penny Wharvey McGill

The gods need US! They need our prayers! What do WE need the gods for?
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Andromeda

Mac Carter: [after Tyler gets in a fight at a party] You feel like because you're a white boy you gotta overcompensate or something?
Tyler Gage: Wow, like wow, you got me figured out, Montel
Mac Carter: Yeah, well you're the one going Jerry Springer all the time
Skinny Carter: Hey, if you're Montel and you're Jerry, then I'm like...
Mac Carter: Jenny Jones
Tyler Gage: No, like Ellen
Mac Carter: Except Ellen gets more chicks than he does!

You know when you hear girls say 'Ah man, I was so shit-faced last night, I shouldn't of slept with that guy?' We could be that mistake!

Seth

Doug Butabi: Idiot.
Craig: You know Doug, just because you and your brother are having problems, that's no reason to refer to my intellectual capacity in a diminutive manner.

Rob Hawkins: I keep thinking that the last thing I said to her was, "Good luck tonight, Travis."
Lily Ford: I know. I keep thinking about the last thing I said to Jason.
Rob Hawkins: That was different.
Lily Ford: Why?
Rob Hawkins: Because... Jason knew that you loved him.

Capt. Dickson: I got a big ass raise to babysit you two again.
Jenko: We're going back to high school?
Capt. Dickson: No, you look like you about 50. You going to MC State. You two sons of bitches are going to college!

It's not who you love, it's how.

Holden

Jenny Johnson: [after breaking the bed while having sex] I'm sorry. I'll get you a new one.
Matt Saunders: A bed or a penis?
Jenny Johnson: Both.

Try some of my grass! Please have a blade, please do, it's so delectable and so darn good looking.

Willy Wonka

Statler: I always dreamed we'd be back here.
Waldorf: Dreams? Those where nightmares!

Jonathan: Pull me up. Pull me up.
[he sees the huge diamond on top of the pyramid]
Jonathan: Wait, wait. Let me down. Let me down.
Rick: It's not worth your life, you idiot.
Jonathan: Yes, it is. Yes, it is.

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