David St. Hubbins: We say, "Love your brother." We don't say it really, but...
Nigel Tufnel: We don't literally say it.
David St. Hubbins: No, we don't say it.
Nigel Tufnel: We don't really, literally mean it.
David St. Hubbins: No, we don't believe it either, but...
Nigel Tufnel: But we're not racists.
David St. Hubbins: But that message should be clear, anyway.
Nigel Tufnel: We're anything but racists.

Weasley's wand causes devastation with the simplest spells. We'll be sending Potter to the hospital wing in a matchbox.

Professor Snape

Raoul Duke: Well, they've nailed me goddamnit. I'm trapped in some stinking desert crossroads called Baker. I don't have much time man, the fuckers are closing in! They'll hunt me down like a fucking beast!
Dr. Gonzo: Whoa, getting a little paranoid?
Raoul Duke: [yelling] I need a fucking lawyer immediately!
Dr. Gonzo: What are you doing in Baker, didn't you get my telegram?
Raoul Duke: What telegram you worthless bastard? I'll cripple your ass for this.
Dr. Gonzo: You brainless scumbag, you're supposed in Vegas covering the National District Attorney's Conference, I rented a suite at the Flamingo. Now what are you doing out in the middle of the desert?

Fogell: Well, when I got there it was either this or Muhammad.
Evan: Why would you even pick Muhammad.
Fogell: For your information, Muhammad is the most commonly used name on the planet.
Evan: Fogell, have you ever even met anyone named Muhammad?
Fogell: Have you ever met anyone named McLovin?
Seth: NO! That's why it's a stupid, made-up, fucking fairy tale name!

Hoover: We're in trouble. I just checked with the guys at the Jewish house and they said that every one of our answers on the Psych test was wrong.
Boon: Every one? Those assholes must have stolen the wrong fucking exam!

We're sluts, Emma! We're dirty dirty sluts!

Shira

Ike Clanton: What is that now? Twelve hands in a row? Holliday, son of a bitch, nobody's that lucky.
Doc Holliday: Why Ike, whatever do you mean? Maybe poker's just not your game Ike. I know! Let's have a spelling contest!

Lloyd: What is the Soup Du Jour?
Waitress #1: It's the Soup of the Day.
Lloyd: Mmmm. That sounds good. I'll have that.

Darth Vader: What is thy bidding, my master?
The Emperor: Send the fleet to the far side of Endor. There it will stay until called for.
Darth Vader: What of the reports of the rebel fleet massing near Sollust?
The Emperor: It is of no concern. Soon the Rebellion will be crushed and young Skywalker will be one of us. Your work here is finished, my friend. Go out to the command ship and await my orders.
Darth Vader: Yes, my master.

When it comes to grief, the normal rules of wealth do not apply. Because grief transcends value. A man would give entire nations to lift grief off his heart and yet, you cannot buy anything with grief, because grief is worthless.

Jefe

Han Solo: Where did you dig up that old fossil?
Luke: Ben is a great man.
Han Solo: Yeah, great at getting us into trouble.

General Barnicke: Where is your drill sergeant, men?
John Winger: Blown up sir.

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