You can either surf, or you can fight!

Kilgore

Carl Fredricksen: Hey, let's play a game. It's called "See Who Can Be Quiet the Longest."
Russell: Cool! My mom loves that game!

Willenholly: Put the monkey down, and your hands up. Let's go, misters. Do you want to get shot? I didn't think so.
Jay: Look, man. She doesn't want to go back to the lab. And for the record, I ain't gay.
Willenholly: And for the record, while we're one the subject, I knew that wasn't a real little boy.
Jay: And for one more record, he loves the cock.

He's gonna marry me.

Sloane

Vianne Rocher: And these are for your husband. Unrefined cacao nips from Guatemala, to awaken the passions.
Yvette Marceau: Psshh. You've obviously never met my husband.
Vianne Rocher: Well, you've obviously never tried these.

[observes Ava] That right there is a dame to kill for...

Marv

Johnny Cash: It's all right, it just happened.
June Carter: Just happened?
Johnny Cash: Yeah.
June Carter: You wear black 'cause you can't find anything else to wear? You found your sound 'cause you can't play no better? You just tried to kiss me because "it just happened?" You should try take credit for something every once in a while, John.

"Remember, your enemy is not gonna play fair."

Kilowog

Yoda: I hear a new apprentice you have, Emperor... or should I say "Darth Sidious"?
Darth Sidious: Master Yoda... you survived.
Yoda: Surprised?
Darth Sidious: Your arrogance blinds you, Master Yoda. Now you will experience the full power of the dark side.

[after revealing her secret to Matt]
Jenny Johnson: Say "I'd rather have a chainsaw shoved up my ass than tell."
Matt Saunders: Is that a possibility?
Jenny Johnson: Say it!
Matt Saunders: Ok. I'd rather have a chainsaw shoved up my ass than tell.

I've got some good news, though. I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance.

Miles Connoly

Mugatu: SHUT UP! Enough already, Ballstein! Who cares about Derek Zoolander anyway? The man has only one look, for Christ's sake! Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le Tigra? They're the same face! Doesn't anybody notice this? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! I invented the piano key necktie, I invented it! What have you done, Derek? You've done nothing! NOTHIIIING! And I will be a monkey's uncle if I let you ruin this for me, because if you can't get the job done, then I will!
[flings "M" shaped shuriken at the Prime Minister]
Mugatu: Die, you wage-hiking scum!

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