Reuben Feffer: You don't know what it was like for me growing up. I had a mother who made me afraid of everything!
Polly Prince: Well, big deal, Reuben, my dad had a whole second family!
Reuben Feffer: What?
Polly Prince: Yeah, on Long Island. He had a wife, and kids, and a golden retriever!

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.


Susan Storm: Guys we have a problem! He's here!
Reed Richards: Sue get out of there!
Susan Storm: Why are you trying to destroy us?
The Silver Surfer: I have no choice.
Susan Storm: There’s always a choice.
The Silver Surfer: Not Always!

Best job I ever had. [The rest of the cast then repeat this line.]


Jay: Do they say who's fuckin' playing us in the movie?
Holden: No, but it's Miramax. So I'm sure it'll be Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. They put those guys in a bunch of movies.
Jay: Who?
Holden: You know, those kids from Good Will Hunting?
Jay: You mean that fuckin' movie with Mork from Ork in it?
Holden: Yeah, I wasn't a big fan either... but Affleck was the bomb in "Phantoms."
Jay: Word, bitch, Phantoms like a mallfucker.

Leah: Woah check out baby big head. That thing is freaky looking.
Juno MacGuff: Excuse me? I am a sacred vessel, alright? All you've got in your stomach is Taco Bell.

Cockney: We've got a bloomin' heiress in our midst. Will you be needing a butler, Eliza?
Eliza Doolittle: Well you won't do.

Tommy: That was it? Come on you can do better than that, can't you Captain Limp Wrist? Try again!
[Richard punches him again]
Tommy: Hey everybody, is there a window open; I feel a draft!
[Richard punches him twice]
Tommy: If I wanted a kiss, I'd call your mother!
[Richard hits him over the face with a 2×4]
Tommy: That was a good one.
Richard Hayden: Hey, Prehistoric Forest!

Stu: I'm part of some weird wolf pack.
Alan: Hey, it's not weird. It's really quite cool, there's no membership fee.

Wayne: Jim, why was I supposed to put on this concert?
Jim: Because you had to learn that it doesn't matter what you do, Cassandra loves you for who you are and that, being an adult means facing resposibility yet still taking the time to have fun.
Wayne: Right, its like coming home on Friday night and doing your homework right away so that your Saturday night is free to just party.
Jim: No I like the way I said it better.
Wayne: OK.

Elle's Mother: Honey, you were First Runner-Up at the "Miss Hawaiian Tropic" contest. Why are you going to throw that all away?
Elle: Going to Harvard is the only way I'm going to get the love of my life back.
Elle's Father: Oh, sweetheart, you don't need law school. Law school is for people who are boring and ugly and serious. And you, button, are none of those things.

I don't know what's scarier, neurotic cheerleaders or the pressure to win. I could make a killing selling something like Diet Prozac.


FREE Movie Newsletter