Alex: I wanna prove to my dad that I'm a *real* lion.
Marty: As opposed to what, a *chocolate* lion?

Professor Lupin: Very well. Kill him! But wait one more minute. Harry has the right to know why.
Harry: I know why! You betrayed my parents. You're the reason they're dead.
Professor Lupin: No, Harry, it wasn't him. Somebody did betray your parents, but it was somebody who, until quite recently, I believed to be dead.
Harry: Who was it then?
Sirius Black: Peter Pettigrew! And he's in this room, right now! Come out, come out, Peter! Come out, come out and play!

Church laws are fallible because they're created by man.

Loki

Howard Hughes: Do you know those men? Do they work for me?
Noah Dietrich: Everybody works for you, Howard.

Justin Shipman: Hey, I have to tell you something!
Torrance Shipman: I'm on the phone creep!
Justin Shipman: I realize that, and normally I'd be listening on the other line, but this is important.
Torrance Shipman: Okay, what?
Justin Shipman: [farts twice]
Torrance Shipman: Ugh! Get Out!
Justin Shipman: Thank you for listening.

The game doesn't stink, Mr. Wheeler. It's a great game.

Billy Chapel

This is no dream! This is really happening!

Rosemary Woodhouse

Phillip Vandamm: Mr. Kaplan, you are quite the performer. First you're the outraged Madison Avenue advertising executive who claims that he has been mistaken for someone else. Next, you play the fugitive from justice supposedly trying to clear himself of a crime he knows he didn't commit. And now, you're the jealous lover spurned by love and betrayal.
Roger Thornhill: Apparently the only performance that will satisfy you is when I play dead.
Phillip Vandamm: Your very next role, and you'll be quite convincing, I assure you.

Professor X: For someone who hates mutants, you certainly keep some strange company.
William Stryker: Oh, they serve their purpose. As long as they can be controlled.

Ramona V. Flowers: We all have baggage.
Scott Pilgrim: Yeah well, my baggage doesn't try and kill me every five minutes.

Trip McNeely: Speaking of which, you still with that Amanda chick? She was a prize piece if I ever saw one.
Mike Dexter: [lying] Yeah, me and Amanda. Definitely. Yep.
Trip McNeely: You're lucky, bro.
Mike Dexter: I sure am.
Trip McNeely: Stay with her. It's the best advice I can give you... Oh, that, and bring rubber flip-flops in the shower. I got warts all over my feet.

Marion: Bar's closed.
Toht: We are - hehe - not thirsty.

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