Brody: What day is this?
Hooper: It's Wednesday... eh, it's Tuesday, I think.
Brody: Think the tide's with us?
Hooper: Keep kicking.
Brody: I used to hate the water...
Hooper: I can't imagine why.

[Exhales at his ex-wife] I need a drink. Do you have any beer, Coyote Ugly?

Bud Brumder

Droz: Want some advice?
Tom: Well, yeah.
Droz: Well, here's all you need to know. Classes: nothing before 11. Beer: it's your best friend, you drink a lot. Women? You're a freshman, so it's pretty much out of the question. Will you have a car?
Tom: Uh, no.
Droz: Someone on your floor will. Find them and make friends with them on the first day.

Leonard Shelby: Strip! Take off your pants too.
Jimmy Grantz: Why?
Leonard Shelby: I don't want to get blood on them.

Joe Miller: Have you ever felt discriminated against at Wyatt Wheeler?
Anthea Burton: Well, yes.
Joe Miller: In what way?
Anthea Burton: Well, Mr. Wheeler's secretary, Lydia, said that Mr. Wheeler had a problem with my earrings.
Joe Miller: Really?
Anthea Burton: Apparently Mr. Wheeler felt that they were too... "Ethnic" is the word she used. And she told me that he said that he would like it if I wore something a little less garish, a little smaller, and more "American."
Joe Miller: What'd you say?
Anthea Burton: I said my earrings are American. They're African-American.

In my country, a woman's mastery of her gastronomical releases is considered the ultimate aphrodisiac!


[to Mercedes] Have you seen my mother? She's very beautiful.


You can't see my penis, can you?

George Reeves

So this is a Harvard bar, huh? I thought there'd be equations and shit on the wall.


Three months ago, you lost the drive containing the identity of every agent embedded in terrorist organizations across the globe.

Gareth Mallory

We didn't need dialogue. We had faces!

Norma Desmond

Fuck this shit, I'm getting the bazooka!

Huge Goon

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