Gimbel's Manager: Why are you smiling like that?
Buddy: I just like to smile, smiling's my favorite.

[Lyle isn't answering Charlie's calls]
Handsome Rob: He only answers to "The Napster" now, Charlie
Charlie Croker: Oh, no. I am not calling you The Napster.
Lyle: Why not? You call him Left Ear.
Left Ear: Well, I am.
Lyle: And him Handsome Rob.
Charlie Croker: Well, that's because he is Handsome Rob!

Jules, if you give that fuckin' nimrod fifteen hundred dollars, I'm gonna shoot him on general principles.


What's with this outfit? You know what it says? You wanna know what it says? Arrest me!

Frank Lucas

Derek: Do you get along with your dad? You tight and shit?
Sara: Yeah, we're "tight and shit"; our DNA matches.

At the risk of stating the obvious, you're insane.


[about the concert]
Norah: Are you sorry we missed it?
Nick: No. This is it.
[they kiss]

It is only out of sheer morbid curiosity that I am allowing this freak show to continue.

Judge Stevens

That's a position raise, I call.

Teddy KGB

Happy Gilmore: During high school, I played junior hockey and still hold two league records: most time spent in the penalty box; and I was the only guy to ever take off his skate and try to stab somebody.

If I'm being completely honest, he does have these amazing balls that I just love to play with. They're firmer and fuzzier. [looks around] Tennis balls! He's my tennis partner!


God: I now issue a new commandment: Thou shalt do the dance.

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