Jack Byrnes: "My Mother", by Jack Byrnes. You gave me life, / You gave me milk, / You gave me courage. / Your name was Angela, / An angel from Heaven, / But you were also an angel of God, / And he needed you, too. / I selfishly tried to hold on to you, / While the cancer ate away at your organs, / Like an unstoppable rebel force, / And now we'll meet in Heaven, / And I shall see you / Nevermore, nevermore, nevermore.
Pam Byrnes: Dad, that's beautiful.
Greg Focker: That's amazing, so much love, and also so much information.

Charlie: I really wanna be a writer but I don't know what I'd write about.
Sam: You can write about us.
Patrick: Call it 'The Slut and the Falcon' make us solve crimes.

I shall count the sheep among my favored sheep and shall you the protection of all the angels in heaven.

Il Duce

Messenger: [Leonidas has kissed the Persian's messenger on the mouth] What was that?
Leonidas: That is how men great each other in Sparta: high-fives for the women and open-mouthed tongue kisses for the men!

All my life I could do anything. I could do anything, really. Except the one thing I wanted.

Kitty

The last time I had a pap smear, the guy needed leather gloves and an oyster shucker.

Magda

Isabelle: We need to work as a team.
Cuchillo: Does this look like a team orientated group of individuals to you?

Excuse my vulgarity.

Ratso Rizzo

Lee: You must take me to see Consul Han right away.
Carter: Man, just sit there and shut up! This ain't no democracy.
Lee: Yes, it is.
Carter: No, it ain't. This is the United States of James Carter. I'm the president, I'm the emperor, I'm the king. I'm Michael Jackson, you Tito. Your ass belongs to me.

Cowardly Lion: Come on, get up and fight, ya shivering junkyard! Put your hands up, ya lopsided bag o' hay!
Scarecrow: Now that's getting personal, Lion!
Tin Woodsman: Yes. Get up and teach him a lesson.
Scarecrow: W-w-what's wrong with y-y-you teaching him?
Tin Woodsman: W-w-well, I hardly know him.

Landon: I'm sorry she never got her miracle.
Reverend Sullivan: She did. It was you.

Topper Harley: President Benson.
President Thomas 'Tug' Benson: No you're not. I've seen him on TV. An older man, about my height.
Michelle Huddleson: Mr. President, this is Topper Harley.
President Thomas 'Tug' Benson: Topper Harley, of course, the son I never had. No wonder I didn't recognize you then.

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