Jeff Spicoli: Where'd you get this jacket?
Stu Nahan: I got this from the network. Let me ask you, what's next for Jeff Spicoli?
Harold: I want that.
Kumar: What? A Hot Dog Heaven super chili cheese dog?
Harold: No. I want that feeling. The feeling that comes over a man when he gets exactly what he desires. I need that feeling!
Kumar: Are you saying what I think you're saying?
Harold: We gotta go to White Castle.
Kumar: YES! YES! I knew you had it in you dude!
Luke: Come on. Why don't you take a look around? You know what's about to happen, what they're up against. They could use a good pilot like you. You're turning your back on them.
Han Solo: What good's a reward if you ain't around to use it? Besides, attacking that battle station ain't my idea of courage. It's more like... suicide.
Luke: All right. Well, take care of yourself, Han. I guess that's what you're best at, isn't it?
[starts to storm off]
Han Solo: Hey, Luke... may the Force be with you.
Han Solo: What're you lookin' at? I know what I'm doin'.
You asked me once how I was gonna save your life. This is it. This moment.Louanne
Come on Caleb. It's not like it's going to kill us. Yet.Pogue Parry
You lose.Ivan Vanko
I'm telling you, that chick is probably a bigger germ farm than that monkey in Outbreak.Banky Edwards
I've had some girlfriends too, but all they wanted from me was weed and shit.Jay
Her husband was too drunk to know he was too drunk to drive.Charles
Rufus T. Firefly: Not that I care, but where is your husband?
Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead.
Rufus T. Firefly: I bet he's just using that as an excuse.
Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end.
Rufus T. Firefly: No wonder he passed away.
Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him.
Rufus T. Firefly: Oh, I see, then it was murder. Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the second question first.
Kevin: Marriage is a concept invented by people who were lucky to make it to 20 without being eaten by dinosaurs. Marriage is obsolete.
Alec: Dinosaurs are obsolete. Marriage is still around.
Joanne Herring: [Joanne has just told Bonnie to get her a cocktail] She doesn't like me.
Charlie Wilson: Everybody likes you.
Joanne Herring: She's a liberal.
Charlie Wilson: I'm a liberal.
Joanne Herring: [puts her hand on his butt] Not where it counts.