Gary: McKinley needs to experience "The Ultimate"!
J.J.: You mean, penis-in-vagina?
Gary: No, dickhead - sex.

Jake Forester: What's going on over there?
Sheriff Julie Forester: Whatever you do, do not go into the water.

Guy on the Couch: Hey, is it January?
Thurgood Jenkins: No, it's August.
Guy on the Couch: Really?

Bruce Wayne: Why didn't you just kill me?
Bane: Your punishment must be more severe.

Todd: You were basically the worst parent ever!
Donny: I was awesome!
Todd: You let me eat cake and lollipops for breakfast every day!
Donny: That's what you asked for!
Todd: You're supposed to say no!

Ben 'Finn' Finnegan: We found something. I mean we found something!
[pull out a barrel from a hole dug]
Tess Finnegan: What if it's a body?
Ben 'Finn' Finnegan: Well he was a midget, with very cheap relatives.
Tess Finnegan: What if it's a head?
Ben 'Finn' Finnegan: [pauses and turns around] Do you mind?

Yeah it's a mess back there.

Wayne

I almost got head from Amelia Earhart!

Al Czervik

Mary Ansell Barrie: I'm tired of waiting, James. I'm tired of looking like a fool.
J.M. Barrie: Well I can't very well give up the play.
Mary Ansell Barrie: No. Just... come home to me at the end of the day. No more trips to the country, no more long evenings in the park. If you can't give us that much of a chance... Then we must end this... and I will.

Evelyn: Look, I... I may not be an explorer, or an adventurer, or a treasure-seeker, or a gunfighter, Mr. O'Connell, but I am proud of what I am.
Rick: And what is that?
Evelyn: I... am a librarian.

Nobody's innocent in this shit.

Ed Hoffman

Give me the sharp weapon, I wanna put it up his butt!

Fat Amy

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