[to the Political Officer, as he gasps for air] Where I am going, you cannot follow.

Captain Ramius

Margaret Tate: [surprised to see Andrew at her office] Why are you panting?
Andrew Paxton: Cause I've been running.
Margaret Tate: From Alaska?

Carol Connelly: Why can't I have a normal boyfriend? Just a regular boyfriend, one that doesn't go nuts on me!
Beverly Connelly: Everybody wants that, dear. It doesn't exist.

Ricky Bobby: Wow, I feel like I'm in Highlander.
Jean Girard: What is the Highlander?
Ricky Bobby: It's a movie.
Jean Girard: Oh. Any good?
Ricky Bobby: Very good. It won the Academy Award.
Jean Girard: For what?
Ricky Bobby: For best movie ever made.

Yeah, and I can't believe Liberace was gay. I mean, women loved him! I didn't see that one coming.

Austin Powers

Yeah, you Americans, why don't you go back to strip malls und drink your Zimas and Smirnoff Ices!

Otto

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.

Oogway

You can't ride two horses with one ass, sugarbean.

Earl Smooter

Ivan Vanko: [watching Stark on TV] You come from a family of thieves, and butchers. And like all guilty men, you try to rewrite your history, to forget all the lives the Stark family has destroyed.
[later, he works on a machine]
Ivan Vanko: There will be blood in the water, and the sharks will come...

You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

Harvey Dent

cop: You know what happens if you do another turn in the joint?
Hockney: Fuck your father in the shower and then have a snack? Are you going to charge me dickhead?

You know what my favorite Helen Hunt movie is?
[twists his opponent's balls] TWISTER!

Fat Bastard

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