My life is good. Real good.

Nacho

Demon: I'm not Regan.
Father Damien Karras: Well, then let's introduce ourselves. I'm Damien Karras.
Demon: And I'm the Devil. Now kindly undo these straps.
Father Damien Karras: If you're the Devil, why not make the straps disappear?
Demon: That's much too vulgar a display of power, Karras.

Well, no offense, but if that is a woman it looks like she was beaten with an ugly stick!

Austin Powers

Ricky Slade: I don't know why we don't get a drink, sittin' inside this place.
Bobby: Chloe wanted to come here.
Ricky Slade: She doesn't know where the hell she is, Bob. She'd have more fun if we were at Bordner's. She could play the trivia game that she likes or the little racing game thing she does .
Bobby: She's a little girl, little girls don't like going to bars.
Ricky Slade: We had fun. We went to bars when we were kids. Met all the different people. Right? Remember Slimmy?
Salesperson: Excuse me sir, there's no smoking in here.
Ricky Slade: Why, you serving food?
Salesperson: No, it's store policy. And you can't sit at a station without purchasing a ceramic.
Ricky Slade: You believe this shit. I can't sit at a station without purchasing a ceramic. Well, why don't you bring me a ashtray then. Can I color me that, a ceramic ashtray?

I am great at free throws. Seriously, free throws are, like, my best thing.

Jackie Moon

Waitress: Excuse me, but are you Paul Sheldon?
Paul Sheldon: Yes.
Waitress: I just wanted to tell you I'm your number one fan!
Paul Sheldon: That's... very sweet of you...

C'mon, he's insane. Look. Right now he's probably dancing around in his grandma's panties, yeah, rubbing himself in peanut butter.

David Mills

For two days and two fuckin' nights, we beat the shit out of this guy. I mean, we even stuck ice-picks in his balls.

Nicky Santoro

Joel, you wanna know something? Every now and then say, "What the fuck." "What the fuck" gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future.

Miles

I thought Christmas only came once a year.

James Bond

A. J. MacInerney: Oh, and Leon, don't be the nice, sweet guy from Brooklyn on this one. Do what the NRA does.
Leon Kodak: What, scare the shit out of them?
A. J. MacInerney: Exactly.
Leon Kodak: I can do that.

Dave Buznik: Hi, I'm glad I'm not the only one in anger management.
Bobby Knight: What? I don't need anger management! I thought this was sexaholics anonymous!
Dave Buznik: Uh, I think that's down the hall.
Bobby Knight: Oh, screw this!

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