Johnny Cash: It's all right, it just happened.
June Carter: Just happened?
Johnny Cash: Yeah.
June Carter: You wear black 'cause you can't find anything else to wear? You found your sound 'cause you can't play no better? You just tried to kiss me because "it just happened?" You should try take credit for something every once in a while, John.

Jeff Spicoli: Where'd you get this jacket?
Stu Nahan: I got this from the network. Let me ask you, what's next for Jeff Spicoli?

Harold: I want that.
Kumar: What? A Hot Dog Heaven super chili cheese dog?
Harold: No. I want that feeling. The feeling that comes over a man when he gets exactly what he desires. I need that feeling!
Kumar: Are you saying what I think you're saying?
Harold: We gotta go to White Castle.
Kumar: YES! YES! I knew you had it in you dude!

Jasper: What did you do for your birthday?
Theodore Faron: Nothing.
Jasper: Oh come on, you must have done something.
Theodore Faron: Nope. Woke up, felt like shit. Went to work, felt like shit.
Jasper: That's called a hangover, Amigo.

Stoick: When we crack this mountain open, all hell is going to break loose.
Gobber: And my undies. Good thing I brought extras.

Luke: Come on. Why don't you take a look around? You know what's about to happen, what they're up against. They could use a good pilot like you. You're turning your back on them.
Han Solo: What good's a reward if you ain't around to use it? Besides, attacking that battle station ain't my idea of courage. It's more like... suicide.
Luke: All right. Well, take care of yourself, Han. I guess that's what you're best at, isn't it?
[starts to storm off]
Han Solo: Hey, Luke... may the Force be with you.
[Chewie growls]
Han Solo: What're you lookin' at? I know what I'm doin'.

Come on Caleb. It's not like it's going to kill us. Yet.

Pogue Parry

I'm telling you, that chick is probably a bigger germ farm than that monkey in Outbreak.

Banky Edwards

I've had some girlfriends too, but all they wanted from me was weed and shit.


Her husband was too drunk to know he was too drunk to drive.


Rufus T. Firefly: Not that I care, but where is your husband?
Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead.
Rufus T. Firefly: I bet he's just using that as an excuse.
Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end.
Rufus T. Firefly: No wonder he passed away.
Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him.
Rufus T. Firefly: Oh, I see, then it was murder. Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the second question first.

Kevin: Marriage is a concept invented by people who were lucky to make it to 20 without being eaten by dinosaurs. Marriage is obsolete.
Alec: Dinosaurs are obsolete. Marriage is still around.

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