Welcome to Singapore.

Captain Sao Feng

Joe: Do we get a balloon with these?
Shoe Salesman: ...Yeah
Robert: All of us or just her?

[about to ride cheetah] This is either a really smart move or by far the stupidest thing that we have ever tried.

Harold

Bueller?... Bueller?... Bueller?

Economics Teacher

Look son, being a good shot, being quick with a pistol, that don't do no harm, but it don't mean much next to being cool-headed. A man who will keep his head and not get rattled under fire, like as not, he'll kill ya. It ain't so easy to shoot a man anyhow, especially if the son-of-a-bitch is shootin' back at you.

Little Bill Daggett

Now, I can be a good guy, or I can be one real mean sum-bitch.

Captain, Road Prison 36

Ogilvy: Here?
[to Ray]
Ogilvy: Peach Schnapps. Disgusting I know it, found a whole case of this shit.

Hey Sphinx, check it out. Homeboy got "SNAKE" on the license plate. Well, Snake gon' have to slither his ass all the way to the bus stop in the morning... I got some low-riding music for you. It's better than that cracker shit you listen to.

Mirror Man

Ruben: Got to frisk you.
Tom Stall: Nah, I'll save you the trouble. I'm not packing.
Ruben: I got to frisk you.
Tom Stall: All right. I don't smell very good... I've been driving pretty much non-stop fifteen to sixteen hours.
Ruben: I'll hold my nose.

WOMANNN!

Animal

Jamie: You know what I figured out today?
Landon: What?
Jamie: Maybe God has a bigger plan for me than I had for myself. Like this journey never ends. Like you were sent to me because I'm sick. To help me through all this. You're my angel.

Professor Snape: Potter! What's your hurry?
[Harry walks up to Snape]
Professor Snape: Congratulations. Your performance in the Black Lake was inspiring. Gillyweed. Am I correct?
Harry: Yes, sir.
Professor Snape: Ingenious.
[Climbs up ladder in his personal store room]
Professor Snape: A rather rare herb, gillyweed. Not something found in your everyday garden.
Professor Snape: [Picks up small vial, then climbs down to floor. He then shows the vial to Harry] Nor is this.
Professor Snape: Know what it is?
Harry: Bubble juice, sir?
Professor Snape: Veritaserum. Three drops of this and You-Know-Who himself would spill his darkest secrets. The use of it on a student is, regrettably, forbidden. However, should you eve steal from my personal stores again, my hand might just slip...
[turns vial sideways, then upright again]
Professor Snape: ...over your morning pumpkin juice.
Harry: I haven't stolen anything.
Professor Snape: Don't... lie... to me! Gillyweed may be innocuous, but boomslang skin? Lacewing flies? You and your little friends are brewing Polyjuice Potion, and believe me, I'm going to find out why!
[Slams door shut in Harry's face]

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