Angelica: That's hardly appropriate for the first mate.
Captain Jack Sparrow: Was I the first?

If you're lying to me, I'll be back!

Julius Benedict

Crash Davis: Last chance. Your place or mine?
Annie Savoy: Despite my rejection of most Judeo-Christian ethics, I am, within the framework of the baseball season, monogamous.

Frank Abagnale, Jr.: [as Frank Conners] Your honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, this is irrefutable evidence that the defendant is, in fact, lying.
Judge: Mr. Conners, this is a preliminary hearing. There is no... defendant. There is no... jury. It's just me. Son... what in the HELL is wrong with you?

[looks out window] Why are frogs falling from the sky?

Phil Parma

Don't be jealous, Andy. He's nothing like you.

Edie Sedgwick

Brodie: You've probably had a slew of women since her, am I right?
Stan Lee: Oh, lots of women. Jagger and me, we had a running contest to see who had the most. In fact, last time I checked I was way ahead.
Brodie: DAMN that's hot!

Got to love the Lord for making things like that.

Harry Rex Vonner

John Smith: [during a car chase] I never told you, but I was married once before.
Jane Smith: [slams on the brakes]
John Smith: What's wrong with you?
Jane Smith: [hitting John] You're what's wrong with me John.
John Smith: It was just a drunken Vegas thing.
Jane Smith: Oh, that's better. That's *much* better.
Jane Smith: What's her name and social security number?
John Smith: No, you're not gonna kill her.

Lex: He's gonna eat the goat?
Tim: Excellent!
Donald Gennaro: What's the matter, kid? You never had lamb chops?
Lex: I happen to be a vegetarian.

People wait their whole lives to see an ex when things are going really good. it NEVER happens. You could make relationship history!

Alex Fletcher

In my life I find that memories of the spirit linger and sweeten long after memories of the brain have faded.


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