You know what's a fun game? Take 3 Excedrin PM's and see if you can whack off before you fall asleep. You always win, that's the best part about the game.


Welcome To Hotel Transylvania!


Kenny Fisher: Yo, I'm just pausin' while those two hos over there scratch it out over who gets to knock the boots with me!
Kenny Fisher: Ya know what I'm saying? Yeah!
Ritchie Koolboy: What two ho's?
DJ Sammy: I don't see no ho's yo.

Wrestling Promoter: You coulda taken him apart. Why didn't you stop him?
Peter Parker: I missed the part where that's my problem.

Conklin: Let's ask Marie what she wants to do.
Jason Bourne: Actually, I don't think she gives a shit. She's dead.
Conklin: I'm sorry to hear that. How did that happen?
Jason Bourne: She was slowing me down.

Yep... Inside each and every one of us is one true authentic swing... Somethin' we was born with... Somethin' that's ours and ours alone... Somethin' that can't be taught to ya or learned... Somethin' that got to be remembered... Over time the world can, rob us of that swing... It get buried inside us under all our wouldas and couldas and shouldas... Some folk even forget what their swing was like...

Bagger Vance

What kind of driver are you going to find after the season's started? Some old boy who's washed up, and wasn't worth a shit to begin with.

Harry Hogge

Carter: How long this flight?
Lee: Fifteen hours.
Carter: Fifteen hours? What are we gonna do for fifteen hours?
Lee: [Puts on head phones and begins to sing] Huh! War! Uh! Good God "yaw."
Carter: Oh, hell no! Stewardess! Get me another seat!

Bruce: So you're the janitor, electrician, the boss. Must be one hell of a Christmas party... don't get drunk though, one of you may need a ride home
God: [laughing] You've always had a sense of humor, Bruce, just like your father.

Calvin Candie: I'm curious, what makes you such a mandingo expert?
Django: I'm curious what makes you so curious.

Have you ever let a romantic moment make you do something that you knew was stupid?

Carol Connelly

Joy McNally: The topping I wanted on my popcorn. I know the box said it's movie theater butter, but you guessed it. What I really want is sweaty Jack's balls flavor.
Jack Fuller: I'm just giving you what you want, baby.

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