Elinor Dashwood: Margaret has always wanted to travel.
Edward Ferrars: I know. She's heading an expedition to China shortly. I'm to go as her servant. But only on the understanding that I am to be very badly treated.
Elinor Dashwood: What will your duties be?
Edward Ferrars: Sword fighting, obviously, administering rum and swabbing.
Elinor Dashwood: And which of these will take precedence?
Edward Ferrars: Swabbing, I imagine.

[last lines]
JB: Do not make a sound unless it's a masterpiece. Not a fuckin' sound.
KG: [farts] Thought I felt something.
JB: Let's hear that back.

Welcome To Hotel Transylvania!


Hey, you wanna go feed that donkey some beer? Get it all messed up?


Professor Henry Higgins: Have some chocolates, Eliza.
Eliza Doolittle: [halting, tempted] 'Ow do I know what might be in 'em? I've 'eard o' girls bein' drugged by the likes o' you.
Professor Henry Higgins: [Takes a chocolate and breaks it in half] Pledge of good faith. I'll take one half...
[puts one half into his mouth and bolts it; then pops the other half into Eliza's mouth]
Professor Henry Higgins: And you take the other. You'll have boxes of them, barrels of them. You'll live on them, eh?
Eliza Doolittle: [Eliza chews hesitatingly] I wouldn't've et it, only I'm too ladylike to take it out o' me mouth.
Professor Henry Higgins: Think of it, Eliza. Think of chocolates. And taxis...! And gold! And diamonds!
Eliza Doolittle: Ah-ah-ah-ow-ow-oo! I don't want no gold and no diamonds! I'm a good girl, I am!

Lisa: What color is your dress?
Donna: It's a champagne color. Then it's a little sexy.

You know Snook, you talk a lot of shit for someone who never says anything.


Joseph Dunn: Do you think you could beat up Bruce Lee?
David Dunn: No.
Joseph Dunn: I mean, if you knew karate?
David Dunn: Nope.
Joseph Dunn: What if he wasn't allowed to kick, and you were really mad at him?
David Dunn: No, Joseph.

Morgan, after you were born, the doctor gave you to your mother. When she first looked at you, you just stared right back. You both just stared at each other for longest time, and you didn't even cry.

Graham Hess

Frank Costello: But Colin - I hope I don't have to remind you that if you don't find that cheese-eating rat bastard in your department, most likely it won't be me who suffers for it.
Colin Sullivan: Now why would you have to remind me of that? Would I be any good at what I do if I didn't fucking already know that? Frank, you gotta trust me. Alright, just trust me Frank. Hey, it fucking involves lying and I'm pretty fucking good at that. Right?
Frank Costello: Maybe because it's always been so easy for me to get cunt, that I never understood jacking off in a theater.

Robin McCall: It's Christmas.
Lewis Rothschild: It's Christmas?
Leon Kodak: Yeah. You didn't get the memo?

As far as I'm concerned that man's whole body is property of the US Army.

Gen. Thaddeus 'Thunderbolt' Ross

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