OK... First I'll access the secret military spy satelite that is in geosynchronous orbit over the midwest. Then I'll ID the limo by the vanity plate "MR. BIGGG" and get his approximate position. Then I'll reposition the transmission dish on the remote truck to 17.32 degrees east, hit WESTAR 4 over the Atlantic, bounce the signal back into the aerosphere up to COMSAT 6, beam it back to SATCOM 2 transmitter number 137 and down on the dish on the back of Mr. Big's limo... It's almost too easy.

Garth Algar

Interviewer: Where did you go to school?
Josh: It was called George Washington.
Interviewer: Oh G.W. My brother-in-law got his doctorate there. Did you pledge?
Josh: Yes. Every morning.

This is bad. No, let me call it what is. This is fucked up.

Marcus Burnett

Off to find the mythical clitoris!


Rocco Dillon: Where's your prison number?
Frank Drebin: It's unlisted.

[Blurts out, to the disgusted crowd after exiting the bar] What're ya looking at? Huh?

Evil Superman

Mary: I want a guy who can play 36 holes of golf, and still have enough energy to take Warren and me to a baseball game, and eat sausages, and beer, not lite beer, but beer. That's my ad, print it up.
Brenda: "Fatty who likes golf and beer." Gee, Mary, where are you gonna find a gem like that?


Spalding Smails
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Steve: You blew the best thing you had going for you. You blew the element of surprise.
[Charlie punches Steve]
Charlie Croker: Surprised?

Human beings have neither the aural nor the psychological capacity to withstand the awesome power of God's true voice. Were you to hear it, your mind would cave in and your heart would explode within your chest. We went through five Adams before we figured that one out.


Lee: [handcuffs Lee to the steering wheel] Hey, what are you doing?
Carter: You ain't the only one with quick hands now, right? Wah!

If I wasn't from Jamaica, then why would I be wearing this hat?

Thurgood Jenkins

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