[teaching his marine studies class]
Mr. Ryan: So to answer your question, Pacific swells are usually a lot bigger than Atlantic swells. But remember: Kelly Slater is from Florida.

Laura: Listen, Rob, would you have sex with me? Because I want to feel something else than this. It either that, or I go home and put my hand in the fire. Unless you want to stub cigarettes out on my arm.
Rob: No. I only have a few left, I've been saving them for later.
Laura: Right. It'll have to be sex, then.
Rob: Right. Right.

King Arthur: One, two, five!
Sir Galahad: Three sir!
King Arthur: Three!

Customer: [reading the tabloids] I saw one, one time, that said the world was ending the next week. Then in the next week's paper, they said we were miraculously saved at the zero hour by a Koala-fish mutant bird. Crazy shit.
Randal Graves: So I'm no more responsible for my own decisions while I'm here at work than, say, the Death Squad soldiers in Bosnia?
Dante Hicks: That's stretching it. You're not being asked to slay children or anything.
Randal Graves: Not yet.

Maj. Warden: [lowering binoculars] Kill him... Kill him!
Major Shears: [screaming] KILL HIM! KILL HIM!

[to Holmes as he guzzles a liquid] You do know what your are drinking is meant for eye surgery?

Dr. John Watson

Well, uh, with a binding like you've got, people are going to want to know what's in the book.

Jerry Mulligan

Idle time is the devil's play thing

Jim's Mother

Ash: [the boys are breaking into Mrs. Bean's kitchen; Ash addresses Kris] You should probably put your bandit hat on now. Personally, I- I don't have one, but I modified this tube sock.
Kristofferson: You look good.
Ash: Yeah, I do.

Greg Focker: You meet some of the... eh... some of the cousins?
Jack Byrnes: I met some, yes. I met some... Dom?
Greg Focker: Yeah, Dom Focker, that's my dad's... uh... first cousin. You meet his kids, Randy and Orny?

[discussing the guest list for Diana's funeral] A chorus line of soap stars and homosexuals.

Prince Philip

John Smith: [both pointing guns at each other; John drops his] You want it? It's yours.
Jane Smith: Don't! C'mon! C'mon!

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