This is no fantasy - no careless product of wild imagination. No, my friends. These indictments that I have brought to you today, specific charges herein against the individuals. Their acts of treason, their ultimate aim of sedition. These... are matters of undeniable fact. I ask you now to pronounce judgement on those accused.

Jor-El

It looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick!

Gingerbread Man

Dante Slate, Jr.: I got a copy that wants an official rematch, they'll pay you a hundred grand!
Henry 'Razor' Sharp: Well, I can't be in the same room as that guy. It's not worth it.
Dante Slate, Jr.: The hell you mean, it ain't worth it? I'm looking at your house!

[prerecorded message speaking through TV on board Discovery while Bowman looks on] Good day, gentlemen. This is a prerecorded briefing made prior to your departure and which for security reasons of the highest importance has been known on board during the mission only by your H-A-L 9000 computer. Now that you are in Jupiter's space and the entire crew is revived it can be told to you. Eighteen months ago the first evidence of intelligent life off the Earth was discovered. It was buried 40 feet below the lunar surface near the crater Tycho. Except for a single very powerful radio emission aimed at Jupiter the four-million year old black monolith has remained completely inert. Its origin and purpose are still a total mystery.

Dr. Floyd

Sweeney Todd: [holding up his razor] At last my arm is complete again!
Mrs. Lovett: [dryly] That's all very well. But what're we gonna do about him?
[points to hand of a dead body sticking out of a box across the room]

Agent Romanov is comfortable with everything.

Nick Fury

I have foresworn myself. I have broken every law I have sworn to uphold, I have become what I beheld and I am content that I have done right!

Ness

Ha ha ha, WIPE OUT!

Big Z

Beth: That's very mature, Fenwick.
Fenwick: Fuck mature!

Lewis: Why would his motto be "Keep moving forward?"
Wilbur: It's what he does.
Lewis: What does that mean?
Wilbur: That is an excellent question.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: Eddie, is there any reason to think that the radio in the trailer might work?
Eddie Carr: If you feel at all qualified, try turning the switch to "on."

Rhonda LeBeck: They only respond to vibration, right? Couldn't we... distract them somehow?
Valentine McKee: Yeah, something to keep 'em busy, like a... like a decoy!
Earl Bassett: Hey Melvin... wanna make a buck?

FREE Movie Newsletter