[outraged] Shit doesn't just disappear!

Tim Dingman

[shouting] Where is my beautiful sister?

Calvin Candie

He likes food, and dreams, and whispers... his favorite movie is Short Circuit... and Fried Green tomatoes.

Hector

Don't you guys go anywhere. I plan to put on a hitting display.

Willie Mays Hayes

Thénardier: Everybody raise a glass!
Madame Thénardier: Raise it up the master's arse!

Randy: [Frank and Charlie have arrived unexpected at Frank's brother's house for Thanksgiving. Randy opens the door and changes from having a smile to having a frown on his face when he sees Frank] Yes?
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Yes! Who is this?
Randy: It's Randy.
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Randy? You new?
Randy: I'm your nephew.
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Hah! Here I am. Your sister's been hoarding me long enough thought it's time to spread the riches around.
Gail: [Comes around the door] Uncle Frank.
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Gloria.
Gail: [upset at having to correct him] Gail.
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Of course.
[enters into the house]
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Say "hello" to the potluck party from New York City. Good ol' Uncle Frank and this here with him is Charlie Simms, star halfback of the Baird School football team. They not only beat Exeter and Grotin this year, but Aquinas High School too.

You know what my favorite Helen Hunt movie is?
[twists his opponent's balls] TWISTER!

Fat Bastard

Thank you. I don't know what I would have done if I had remained on those hot coals, burning my pretty flesh.

Shelly

This is no (expletive) bueno.

Chris Farraday

Hey! Isn't we supposed to be having a fiesta?

Puss-in-Boots

Paul the Barber: Okay, I don't want to know nothing. I never saw you throw that gentleman off the balcony... All I care about is: are you happy with your haircut?

Ben: You want the hammer?
Angela: I want the hammer.
Ben:Then go get the hammer.
[James, who was sitting in the dark, shines his flashlight on them, scaring them]
James: OK, enough of that nasty sh**.
Ben: Baby 9-1-1, call 9-1-1!!
[he pushes her, then trips and breaks a glass table]

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