Randal Graves: You swung at me!
Dante Hicks: You ducked.
Randal Graves: Because you swung at me!

Kangaroo: What do you think you're doing?
Tommy: Oh, you guys with worlds are in trouble!
Kangaroo: Have you forgotten what we've discussed?
Horton: Oh no, I'm an elephant and elephants never forget, it's a curse really! I remember, I was on my head and you said hmm and I looked up and you said ,what are you doing?, and I said the thing about the speck, then you pulled my ears and you poked me in the forehead...
Kangaroo: Horton!
Horton: Well you did.

[about to be kissed] Uh, I heard this rumor... alcohol impairs your judgment.

Carter Duryea

Exorcism is alive and well in the present age. People think of it as being a scourge of the Middle Ages that somehow went away and was cured by science, but the fact of the matter is it's never gone away. Exorcism today is bigger than it's ever been.

Cotton Marcus

That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die.


[about to break into a night club]
Seraph: There are no weapons allowed in this club. At the bottom of this elevator there is a coat check girl and, if we are lucky, a man to check weapons.
Trinity: And if we are unlucky?
Seraph: Then there will be many men.

God: Bruce, you have a divine spark. You have a gift for bringing joy and laughter to the world. I know, I created you.
Bruce: Quit bragging.

All my life I could do anything. I could do anything, really. Except the one thing I wanted.


You blew up my car. I loved that car.
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Dr. John Cawley

John McClane: You know how to fire one of these?
Zeus: No.
John McClane: No?
Zeus: Hey, all brothers don't know how to use guns, you racist motherfucker.

There have been many a brave soldier come to taste my husband's mead.


All right, put your hands in the air!

Metro Man

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