Austin: How could you sleep with Fat Bastard?
Felicity Shagwell: I was just doing my duty, Austin. I had to.
Austin: No, I mean, literally, HOW could you do it? The man's so fat, the sheer mechanics of it are mind-boggling.
Russell: Oh! Mr. Fredricksen! If we happen to get separated, use the wilderness explorer call: "CA - CA! RAWRRR!"
Royal: Chas, let me finish here. I've got six weeks to set things right with you and I aim to do it. Will you give me a chance?
Royal: Do you speak for everyone?
Chas: I speak for myself.
Imperial Guard: Chon Wang!
Roy O'Bannon: That's right, Johnny Wayne's here.
Jack Twist: Ever notice how a woman'll powder her nose before a party starts, and the powder it again when the party's over? Why powder your nose just to go home to bed?
Randall Malone: Don't know. Even if I wanted to know, couldn't get a word in with Lashawn long enough to ask. Woman talks a blue streak.
Pageant Assistant: Are you authorized to be backstage?
Dwayne: [without stopping] No.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Eddie, is there any reason to think that the radio in the trailer might work?
Eddie Carr: If you feel at all qualified, try turning the switch to "on."
I thought she hated my guts.Jake
Zeus: Well, at least I'm gonna die rich.
John McClane: I've got bad news for ya, you're only dying with me.
Zeus: How the hell do you know?
John McClane: I know the man, I know the family. The only thing better than blowing up $100 billion worth of gold is making people think you did.
Ow, that's my nut.Michael
You know everyone's saying you're a loser.Janeane
Kazakhstan is the greatest country in the world, all other countries are run by little girls. Kazakhstan is number one exporter of potassium, Other Central Asian countries have inferior potassium.Borat