Robbie Turner: I'm sorry, you weren't meant to see that. It was the wrong version.
Cecilia Tallis: What was in the right one?
Robbie Turner: It was...
Cecilia Tallis: Not so anatomical?

Wanda: I want you to know something Otto.
Otto: What?
Wanda: Even if you were my brother I'd still want to fuck you.

You're not Death. You're just a kid in a suit.

William Parrish

Rocco: I killed your cat, you druggie bitch.
Donna: What? Why?
Rocco: I thought it would bring closure to our relationship.

Davey: Why are you walking?
Griffin: I like to walk for a change. Makes me feel normal.

If I'm being completely honest, he does have these amazing balls that I just love to play with. They're firmer and fuzzier. [looks around] Tennis balls! He's my tennis partner!

Tracy

Are you guys ready? Let's roll! Come on, let's go!

Todd Beamer

Julie: He said that he loved me.
Helen: Men say that. They all say that. Then they cum.

Wayne: Hi, uh we're here to see Handsome Dan. My name is Wayne Campbell
Bjergen Kjergen: Yah, I know. We've been expecting you, Vane Campbell. I am Bjergen Kjargen.
Wayne: Wow I love your accent, where are you from?
Bjergen Kjergen: I am from Sveden.
Wayne: Oh really? Whereabouts in Sweden?
Bjergen Kjergen: Kneurgen, near the Joergen Fjords.
Wayne: Well, nice to meet you, Bjergen Kjargen, from Kneurgen, near the Joergen Fjords. Hmm. Kneurgen, that's in the Klargen Province, near the Biburgen River.
Bjergen Kjergen: Yah hah.
Wayne: Now correct me if I'm wrong. Your annual rainfall varies from about 40 inches in the winter to about 200 inches in the summer, and your chief export is modular furniature. I did a report on Sweden in the eighth grade.
Bjergen Kjergen: Well I am impressed with your quest for knowledge. Educated men are rare.
Wayne: It was really hard, I stayed all night on it. Then the next day, in gym class I was on the minitramp and I got diarrhea. I really wish I hadn't told you that.

Eddie Harris: You know you might think about taking Jesus Christ as your savior instead of fooling around with all this stuff.
Roger Dorn: Shit, Harris.
Pedro Cerrano: Jesus, I like him very much, but he no help with curveball.
Eddie Harris: You trying to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?

What are you waiting for? You're faster than this. Don't think you are, know you are. Come on. Stop trying to hit me and hit me.

Morpheus

He's gonna marry me.

Sloane

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