I wanna thank little baby Jesus, who's sittin' in his crib watchin the Baby Einstein videos, learnin' 'bout shapes and colors.

Ricky Bobby

Jim McAllister: Paul, what is your favorite fruit?
Paul Metzler: Pears.
Jim McAllister: Okay, now...
Paul Metzler: No wait! Apples.
Jim McAllister: Great, now say that everyday you had an apple. An apple, an apple and more apples. You probably thought that apples were pretty good, even if you got a rotten one every once in awhile. Then one day there was an orange. Now you can choose, do you want an apple or do you want an orange? That's democracy.
Paul Metzler: I also like bananas.
Jim McAllister: Exactly!

Here we all are, with nothing but our wit and our will to save the world! So stand and fight!

Nick Fury

The moment you set foot on that casino floor, they'll be watching you like hawks. Hawks with video cameras.


Listen, not a year goes by, not a year, that I don't hear about some escalator accident involving some bastard kid which could have easily been avoided had some parent - I don't care which one - but some parent conditioned him to fear and respect that escalator.


Terence Fletcher: Were you rushing or were you dragging?
Andrew: I-I don't know.
Terence Fletcher: Start counting!
Andrew: Five, six...
Terence Fletcher: In four, dammit! Look at me!
Andrew: One, two, three, four.
Andrew: One, two, three, four.
Andrew: One, two, three...
Terence Fletcher: Now, was I rushing or I was dragging?
Andrew: I don't know.
Terence Fletcher: Count again.
Andrew: One, two, three, four.
Andrew: One, two, three, four.
Andrew: One, two, three, four...
Terence Fletcher: Rushing or dragging?
Andrew: Rushing.
Terence Fletcher: [yelling] So, you do know the difference!

Betty Schaefer: Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Gillis, but I just didn't think it was any good. I found it flat and trite.
Joe Gillis: Exactly what kind of material do you recommend? James Joyce? Dostoyevsky?
Betty Schaefer: I just think that pictures should say a little something.
Joe Gillis: Oh, one of the message kids. Just a story won't do. You'd have turned down Gone With the Wind.
Sheldrake: No, that was me. I said, "Who wants to see a Civil War picture?"

Cher: I want to do something for humanity.
Josh: How about sterilization?

Reporter: Bob Johnson, Boston Globe. Two days ago, we ran a story about you giving your relief money back. Can you tell our readers why?
Jim Braddock: I believe we live in a great country... a country that's great enough to help a man financially when he's in trouble. But lately, I've had some good fortune, and I'm back in the black. I just thought I should return it.

Your so-called kung-fu - is really - quite pathetic.

Pai Mei

Dan: Didn't fancy my sandwiches?
Alice: Don't eat fish.
Dan: Why not?
Alice: Fish piss in the sea.
Dan: So do children.
Alice: Don't eat children either.

Patrick Bateman: I don't think we should see each other.
Evelyn Williams: But your friends are my friends and my friends are your friends. I don't think it would work. You have a little something...
Patrick Bateman: I know that your friends are my friends and, uh... I thought about that. You can have'em.

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