You blew it. Whoo, you blew it, man. You did not want to cut his hair off, trust me.

Roy O'Bannon

Mr. Jones! I've heard a lot about you, sir. Your appearance is exactly the way I imagined.

Katanga

The most liberating constitutional amendment in history, passed by corruption, aided and abetted by the purest man in America.

Thaddeus Stevens

You didn't get pregnant with your legs closed!

Childbirth Instructor

Hey, dude, you really shouldn't drink and horse.

Edward

I can tell you the license plate numbers of all six cars outside. I can tell you that our waitress is left-handed and the guy sitting up at the counter weighs two hundred fifteen pounds and knows how to handle himself. I know the best place to look for a gun is the cab of the gray truck outside, and at this altitude, I can run flat out for a half mile before my hands start shaking. Now why would I know that? How can I know that and not know who I am?

Jason Bourne

We're having too good a time today. We ain't thinking about tomorrow.

John Dillinger

Larry: You're seeing him now? Since when?
Anna: Since my opening last year.
[pause]
Anna: I'm disgusting.
Larry: You're phenomenal. You're so clever.

Donna: There were three guys around the same time...
[giggles]
Tanya: You shady lady!

It's okay, Eleanor. It can be fixed.

Memphis

Jenko: What? Co-ed bathrooms!
Schmidt: Fuck! I'm not gonna take a shit the entire time we're here.

Let's get some of that Saturday night beaver.

Reed Rothchild

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