Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Igor, would you give me a hand with the bags?
Igor: [doing a Groucho Marx] Certainly, you take the blonde and I'll take the one in the turban.

Cravely: And I don't know why the hell I didn't fire you when you broke my fucking window.
Gust Avrakotos: Oh yes sure you do Cravely.
Cravely: Look Gust!
Gust Avrakotos: Yeah you're fucking Roger's fiance, and you know I know.
Cravely: I'm not I'm not I'm not even gonna dignify that with a response.
Gust Avrakotos: Yeah yeah, you're dignifying her in the ass, at the Jefferson Motel Room 1210 but let me ask you, the 3000 agents Turner fired, was that because they lacked diplomatic skills as well?

Got you, didn't I, you little sucker!

Ash

Teacher: Now, I'm returning your papers on the Salem Witch Trials. I'm sad to report that Eden here got the only A.
Jessica: That's not fair. She's the only one who was actually there.
Eden: [Everyone laugh as Eden chants] Hexum maleficium spiritum sanctum nostradumus!

Miss Ritter: Mr. Parker! Tardy again?
Peter Parker: Sorry Miss Ritter! It won't happen again, I promise.
Miss Ritter: Don't make promises you can't keep.
Peter Parker: Yeah but those are the best kind.

Karen: Do you really have to go?
Gil: My whole life is "have to."

All right, gentlemen. He's got one barrel left. When he fires that, take out your pistols, and shoot him down like the mangy scoundrel he is!

Little Bill Daggett

Do you know how I know you're gay? Because you are holding each other ever so gently.

Haziz

Uh, you really shouldn't mumble, because I can't understand a word you're saying.

Willy Wonka

What a nice little dog. And you, my dear, what an unexpected pleasure. It's so kind of you to want to visit me in my loneliness.

Wicked Witch of the West

Isaac Davis: Has anybody read that Nazis are gonna march in New Jersey? Y'know, I read this in the newspaper. We should go down there, get some guys together, y'know, get some bricks and baseball bats and really explain things to them.
Party Guest: There is this devastating satirical piece on that on the Op Ed page of the Times, it is devastating.
Isaac Davis: Well, a satirical piece in the Times is one thing, but bricks and baseball bats really gets right to the point.

I'll kick everyone's ass in this room!

Mike Dexter

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