You should see your faces!

Trudy Chacon

I hope, for your sake, that you were initiating a mating ritual.

B'Etor

She was the greatest of them all. You wouldn't know, you're too young. In one week she received 17,000 fan letters. Men bribed her hairdresser to get a lock of her hair. There was a maharajah who came all the way from India to beg one of her silk stockings. Later he strangled himself with it!

Max Von Mayerling

Wayne: You can see him?
Rip Taylor: Well, of course! I mean, how are you gonna miss a half-naked Indian?

Gerry Conlon: Was I always bad, was I?
Giuseppe Conlon: Not always.
Gerry Conlon: I don't deserve to spend the rest of my life in here do I?
Giuseppe Conlon: All they done was block out the light.
Giuseppe Conlon: They can't block out the light in here.

You got knocked the fuck out... gimme my goddamn money... yeah payback's a motherfucker, Nigga.

Smokey

Your boy is really tripping.

Liyah

Wichita: Let's play the quiet game.
Columbus: I just wanna say...
Wichita: You've never played the quiet game, have you?

I understand you have underwear up your ass right now, but it beats the hell out of a shattered skull. Think about it.

Sparky

It took God seven days to create paradise. Let's see if I can do better.

Poison Ivy

I'm very little! You cheat very big!

Short Round

Dr. Evil: You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! Now evidently my cycloptic colleague informs me that that cannot be done. Ah, would you remind me what I pay you people for, honestly? Throw me a bone here! What do we have?
Number Two: Sea Bass.
Dr. Evil: [pause] Right.
Number Two: They're mutated sea bass.
Dr. Evil: Are they ill tempered?
Number Two: Absolutely.
Dr. Evil: Oh well, that's a start.

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