[to Bob Barker] The price is wrong, bitch.

Happy Gilmore

Try sleight of hand with me and I'll cut your throat.

Franz Krieger

Andrew Largeman: You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone.
Sam: I still feel at home in my house.
Andrew Largeman: You'll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for you kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place.

Pops Racer: You think you can drive a car and change the world? It doesn't work like that!
Speed: Maybe not, but it's the only thing I know how to do and I gotta do something.

Richie: Did you tell Margot about that letter I wrote to you?
Eli: Why? Did she mention it? Yes, I did. Why would she repeat that?
Richie: I would ask you the same question.

[to a dinosaur] Hey, don't give me that shit.


Jack Wyatt: I'm going to be killed by a fictional character!
Uncle Arthur: Yes, you are.

Johnny Cash: Why don't you tell them about the flood? Tell 'em about how you made a boat out of the front door and got us all out of there. They'll like that.
Carlene Carter: Tell us!
Johnny Cash: Come on, tell 'em. You got to pull the string tight.
Ray Cash: It was 1937; there was a flood...

Bob Wilton: What are you doing?
Lyn Cassady: [while driving the car] Cloud bursting, it keeps me sharp.
Lyn Cassady: [clouds over head dissapear] and it's gone.
[crashes the car into a rock]
Bob Wilton: Gees, you had like the whole dessert to dive in, Lyn.

We didn't run out of planes and television sets. We ran out of food.


Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Tonight, you pukes will sleep with your rifles. You will give your rifle a girl's name because this is the only pussy you people are going to get. Your days of finger-banging ol' Mary-Jane Rottencrotch through her pretty pink panties are over! You're married to this piece. This weapon of iron and wood. And you will be faithful. Port, hut!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Prepare to mount!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Mount!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Port, hut! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Pray!
Recruits: [chanting] This is my rifle. There are many others like it, but this one is mine. My rifle is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my rifle is useless. Without my rifle, I am useless. I must fire my rifle true. I must shoot straighter than my enemy, who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will. Before God I swear this creed
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Order, hut! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: At ease! Good night, ladies.
Recruits: Good night, sir! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: [to the watchman] Hit it, sweetheart.

Eddie: This broad is not your wife, she's the enemy.
John Smith: She tried to kill me.
Eddie: They all try to kill you. Slowly, painfully, cripplingly, and then wham. They hurt you. How you going to handle it?
John Smith: [grabs assault rifle] I'm going to borrow this.
Eddie: I like where your head's at, man.

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