One of us had to die. With me, it tends to be the other guy.

Frank Costello

ORV. Bullet holes. Bullet holes?

Chunk

People don't want a hero, they want to eat cheeseburgers, play the lotto and watch television.

William Somerset

Danny: Pick us up in two hours.
Ronnie: Fuck you, Miss Daisy.

Prepare to get fucked by the long dick of the law.

Officer Michaels

Crash Davis: Relax, all right? Don't try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring! Besides that, they're fascist. Throw some ground balls - it's more democratic.
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh: [to himself] What's this guy know about pitching? If he's so good how come he's been in the minors for the last ten years? If he's so good how come Annie wants me instead of him?
Crash Davis: Oh, hey, and another thing, Meat. You don't know shit, all right? If you wanna make it to the bigs, you'll listen to me. Annie only wants you so she can boss you around, got it? So relax! Let's have some fun out here! This game's fun, OK? Fun goddamnit. And don't hold the ball so hard, OK? It's an egg. Hold it like an egg.

Riddle me this, riddle me that, who's afraid of the big, black bat?

The Riddler

Ron Burgundy: [riding unicorns through cartoon Pleasure Town] Look, the most glorious rainbow ever.
Veronica Corningstone: Oh. Do me on it.

Stu Price: Here's something I would like to remind you two of: our best friend Doug is probably face down in a ditch right now with a meth head butt-fucking his corpse!
Alan Garner: That's highly unlikely.

James Bond: Can I ask you a personal question?
Solange: Now would seem an appropriate time.

Todd Flanders: I wish Homer was my father.
Ned Flanders: ...and I wish you didn't have the devil's curly hair.

Ned Flanders: Thank you, Lord, for this bountiful...
Ned Flanders: [screams]
Ned Flanders: PENIS!
Rod Flanders, Todd Flanders: [devoutly] ... bountiful penis.
Todd Flanders: Amen.

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