Marijuana is not a drug. I used to suck dick for coke. Now that's an addiction. You ever suck some dick for marijuana?

Cocaine Addict

Most people respect the badge. Everyone respects the gun.


Alex: My dad is going to kick your ass.
Imhotep: I do not think so.

Brooke: My sister has been through a lot...
Gary: ...of dick!

Young Allie: Now say you're a bird too.
[she jumps on him while they are at the beach]
Young Noah: If you're a bird, I'm a bird.

[on killing a fish] Thank you Lord Vishnu. Thank you for coming in the form of a fish and saving our lives.

Pi Patel

One gay beer for my gay friend, one normal beer for me because I am normal.


Payback's a bitch, ain't it?

Russel Casse

Coach Boone: Petey, how many feet are in a mile? How many feet are in a mile?
Petey Jones: [mumbles incoherently]
Coach Boone: 5,280 feet! You pick this ball up and run every one of 'em! You're killing me, Petey! You're killing me!

Roads? Where we're going we don't need... roads.

Dr. Emmett Brown

Emperor: Search your feelings, Lord Vader. You will know it to be true. He will destroy us.
Darth Vader: He's just a boy. Obi-Wan can no longer help him.

Some are born great, others have greatness thrust upon them.

Teddy Roosevelt

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