Mikey, DJ interviewer: How do you think this new record compares to your old, classic stuff?
Billy Mack: Oh come on Mikey, you know as well as I do the record's crap. But wouldn't it be great if number one this Christmas wasn't some smug teenager but an old ex-heroin addict searching for a comeback at any price? Those young popsters come Christmas will be stretched out naked with a cute bird balancing on their balls and I'll be stuck in some dingy flat with me manager Joe, ugliest man in the world, fucking miserable because our fucking gamble didn't pay off. So if you believe in Father Christmas, children, like your Uncle Billy does, buy my festering turd of a record. And particularly enjoy the incredible crassness of the moment when we try to squeeze an extra syllable into the fourth line.
Mikey, DJ interviewer: I think you're referring to "If you really love Christmas..."
Billy Mack: "Come on and let it snow." Ouch.

How is it we can never meet without you pointing something at me?

Angelica

I am angry. I mean I am spitting angry. I'm like a tornado of anger, swirling about.

Phil Weston

I can't wait to take leave so I can get me some fucking poontang.

Mr. Garrison

Obi-Wan: [switches off hologram] I can't watch any more.
Yoda: Destroy the Sith we must.

Tom Smykowski: Well... well look. I already told you: I deal with the god damn customers so the engineers don't have to. I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people! Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?

Max Payne: [first lines]
Max Payne: I don't believe in Heaven. I believe in
Max Payne: Pain. I believe in Fear. I believe in Death.

I gotta meet this freakin' bird!

Shelley

I love you, sugar.

Bertier

Dale Doback: I manage a baseball team.
Nancy Huff: Oh, little league?
Dale Doback: Fantasy league.

Ben Gates: I need your help.
Riley Poole: Does it involve treasure?

Janey: I read Sylvia Plath, I listen to Bikini Kill and I eat Tofu. I am a unique rebel.
Mitch: It sounds more like you're a lesbo.
Mr. Briggs: Hey, Mitch, now leave your sister alone.
Janey: Thank you, daddy.
Mr. Briggs: If Janey wants to be a rug-muncher, that's her decision.

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