T.E. Lawrence: Michael George Hartley, this is a nasty, dark little room. Hartley: That's right. T.E. Lawrence: We are not happy in it. Hartley: It's better than a nasty, dark little trench. T.E. Lawrence: Then you're an ignoble fellow. Hartley: That's right.

Can you tell I'm wearing underwear? 'Cause I totally am.

Jenna

It feels like I'm drinking out of Chewbacca's Dick!

Alex Eilhauer

[to Mercedes] Have you seen my mother? She's very beautiful.

Ofelia

Carter Duryea: I'm gonna have to let some people go.
Dan Foreman: Why do you say let them go? They don't WANT to go. Why don't you just say fire them?
Carter Duryea: Because it sounds better.
Dan Foreman: Not to the person getting fired it doesn't.

[to Felicity] Of course I'm not happy. Look at me, I'm a big fat slob. I've got bigger titties than you do. I've got more chins than a Chinese phonebook. I've not seen my willie in two years, which is long enough to declare it legally dead.

Fat Bastard

Mike McDermott: You comin' up?
Lester 'Worm' Murphy: No, I've been standin' out here all this time just to say hi.
Mike McDermott: All right, listen, things haven't been that smooth on the homefront so, you know, tone it down a little, all right?
Lester 'Worm' Murphy: Tone done what, motherfucker?

Its not on the one, its not the mambo, it's a feeling, a heartbeat.

Johnny

You're not a helicopter, mom. Quit hovering.

Mae

There's two words I never thought I would say

Pete Bell

Jerry Shaw, you have been activated. Your compliance is vital.

Woman on phone

William Somerset: This guy's methodical, exacting, and worst of all, patient.
David Mills: He's a nut-bag! Just because the fucker's got a library card doesn't make him Yoda!

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