You're like Santa Claus with that list, Bud, except everyone on it's been naughty.Dick Stensland
I'm testing the air. I like it but it doesn't like me.Macaulay Connor
Kitty: Oh, you're reading a book?
Laura Brown: Yeah.
Kitty: What's this one about?
Laura Brown: Oh, it's about this woman who's incredibly - well, she's a hostess and she's incredibly confident and she's going to give a party. And, maybe because she's confident, everyone thinks she's fine... but she isn't.
Clark: We're from out of town.
Man Giving Directions: No shit.
Anthony: You could fill the Staple Center with what you don't know.
Peter: The Kings are playing tonight.
Anthony: You don't like hockey! Only reason you say you so it to piss me off!
Peter: ...I love hockey.
Brodie: Oh my God. Don't tell me you have no idea there's a movie being made of the comic you two were the basis for.
Jay: What? Since when?
Brodie: See, here's the pulse. And this is your finger, far away from the pulse, jammed straight up your ass. Say, would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?
Westley: Why can't I move? Why am I up against this wall?
Fezzik: You've been mostly dead all day!
[addressing players] Let me put it to you as clean as I can. We have 95 players here so accomplished as athletes in high school, we gave them scholarships to the finest football program in the land. NCAA regulations allow us to dress just 60 for home games. That means 35 scholarship players will be watching the games from the stands. Now, if any of you has any dreams of one day running out of that tunnel with your gold helmet shining in the sun, you'd best leave them right here. Of you 15 dreamers out there, maybe we'll keep one or two. My job is to basically beat the shit out of you for the next five days. Our first teams are gonna pound on you like you're their worst enemies. Your greatest value to us is that we don't care if you get hurt. Like what you hear so far? Anybody want to run home to Mama? Joe, they're all yours.Coach Warren
I can not promise you riches. What I can offer you the chance to save the world one case at a time.Lucien Wilbanks
William: I've waited my whole life for this moment.
Wat: You've waited your whole life for Sir Ector to shite himself to death?
Shut up! The man with the Colt 45 says shut up!Salim
George Boleyn: [about Henry Percy] He's betrothed.
Anne Boleyn: Betrothed is not married... It is a long way on bended knee to the altar.