This is exactly what the nerds want...

Merrill

I love you guys.

Coach Norman Dale

when you're dating, everything is talking about sex. Where can we do it? Why can't we do it? Are you parents gonna be out so we can do it? Everything is always talkin about getting sex, and then planning the wedding, all the details. But then, when you get married... it's crazy, i dunno. You can get it whenever you want it. You wake up in the morning and she's there. You come home from work and she's there. So all that sex planning talk is over with. And so is the wedding planning talk cause you're already married. So... ya know I can come down here and we can bullshit the entire night away but I cannot hold a 5 minute conversation with Beth. I mean it's not her fault, I'm not blaming her, she's great... It's just, we got nothing to talk about... But it's good, it's good

Shrevie

I try to learn your ways, understand your obsessions. But this baseball, it's so bleedin' boring, isn't it?

Raymond Calitri

You're not like the others. You're curious. But if you want to stay here, I need to know that you're going to follow the rules.

Alby

We train young men to drop fire on people, but their commanders won't allow them to write "fuck" on their airplanes because it's obscene!

Kurtz

Jack Sparrow: Elizabeth!
[Turns to Gibbs]
Jack Sparrow: Hide the rum.

There's always a bigger fish.

Qui-Gon Jinn

Dusty Bottoms: No, we will not die like dogs! We will fight like lions! Because we are...
Dusty Bottoms, Lucky Day, Ned Nederlander: The Three Amigos!

My heart is pounding like a nail!

Shelley

If I did have a tumor, I'd name it Marla.

Narrator

Bird-Watching Woman: Over there. What sort of bird is that? Wait, it's not a woodpecker, it looks like someone's...
Army Sergeant: Privates. We have reports of an unidentified flying object. It has a long, smooth shaft, complete with...
Baseball Umpire: Two balls. [looking up from game] What is that. It looks just like an enormous...
Chinese Teacher: Wang. pay attention.
Wang: I was distracted by that giant flying...
Musician: Willie.
Willie: Yeah?
Musician: What's that?
Willie: Well, that looks like a huge...
Colonel: Johnson.
Radar Operator: Yes, sir?
Colonel: Get on the horn to British Intelligence and let them know about this.

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