I feel good today, Silent Bob, we're gonna make some money, then you know what we're going to do? We're gonna go to that party, and we're gonna get some pussy, and I'm gonna fuck this bitch, and fuck this bitch, I'll fuck ANYTHING THAT MOVES! What the fuck you lookin at, I'll kick yo fuckin ass! Shit yeah. Doesn't that fucker owe me 10 bucks? You know, fuckin tonight, we're gonna rip off that fucker's head, and take out his fuckin' SOUL. Hey, what's up baby, what's up, sluts?

Jay

Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.

Lou Loomis: What's the sign say?
Angie D'Annunzio: No bare feet.
Lou Loomis: [picks him up by the shirt collar] What's that sign say?
Angie D'Annunzio: No fighting.
Lou Loomis: What's that mean?
Angie D'Annunzio: No fighting.
Lou Loomis: You owe me one gumball machine. What's that candy wrapper doing there? Well don't you see it? Well pick it up.

Lynn Davies: I love how his eyes sparkle.
Elizabeth Halsey: I want to sit on his face.

Get away from my boyfriend, you crazy bitch!

Hannah Lewis

Can you think of a plan that *doesn't* involve your 10-year-old sister joining the army?

Ray Ferrier

O.K., we'll stop, get pancakes and then we'll get laid, alright?

Carl Showalter

Hey, Chon, you're lucky I didn't invest in that ridiculous "auto-mobile" idea. Yeah, that's gonna make a lot of money.

Roy

There is no remainder in the mathematics of infinity.

Bernard Jaffe

No! She's only famous when she's Hannah Montana! She's only famous when she's wearing the wig!

Little Rock

Roy: We've got a lot in common.
Sebastian: What do you mean?
Roy: Similar problems.
Pris: Accelerated decrepitude.

Frank Lucas is the most dangerous man walking the streets of our city.

Detective Richie Roberts

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