Yeah, I was in the show. I was in the show for 21 days once - the 21 greatest days of my life. You know, you never handle your luggage in the show, somebody else carries your bags. It was great. You hit white balls for batting practice, the ballparks are like cathedrals, the hotels all have room service, and the women all have long legs and brains.

Crash Davis

Pete: He puts his dick in your mouth while you were asleep!
Assjuice: I wasn't asleep.

[to the Dragon] Why of course you're a girl dragon. You're just reeking of feminine beauty... hey, what's the matter wit you, you got somethin' in your eye?

Donkey

Will Burton: So, how big is this whole bandslam thing around here?
Sam: Texas high school football big.

Brenda: Just wait until he lands on my old Kentucky home.
Bill: More beer? More beer.

Claire Standish: He's just doing it to get a rise out of you. Just ignore him.
John Bender: Sweets. You couldn't ignore me if you tried. So... so. Are you guys like boyfriend-girlfriend? Steady dates? Lovers? Come on, sporto, level with me. Do you slip her the hot beef injection?
Claire Standish: Go to HELL.
Andrew: Enough.
Richard Vernon: Hey. What's the hell's goin in there? Spoiled brats.

Clone Commander Gree: The droids have just started up their main power generators.
Yoda: And now, the time is Commander.
Clone Commander Gree: Yes sir.

My heart is racing like a nail!

Shelley

Luke, you can destroy the Emperor. He has foreseen this. It is your destiny. Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son.

Darth Vader

What do they think I am? Dumb or something? Why, I make more money than - than - than Calvin Coolidge! Put together!

Lina Lamont

Quaffable, but uh... far from transcendent.

Miles Raymond

Tibby: Hey, do you know who would have loved this P, Bee? Your mom.
Bridget: Yeah. I remember this one time she decided that she'd make one herself. She always woke up starving after one of her episodes. I was just sitting in the kitchen doing my homework and she just walked in and just started making this thing. You know, I don't even know if you could call it a pizza. It was more like the entire contents of our refrigerator on a round crust.

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