The Emperor: I'm looking forward to completing your training. In time you will call me master.
Luke: You're gravely mistaken, you won't convert me as you did my father.
The Emperor: Oh no, my young Jedi. You will find that it is you who are mistaken, about a great many things.

I'm sorry, Bruce. These boys get that syrup in 'em, they get all antsy in their pantsy.

Captain O'Hagan

Pageant Official: What is your daughter doing?
Richard: She's kickin' ass... that's what she's doing.

Earl Bassett: What kind of fuse is that?
Burt Gummer: Cannon fuse.
Earl Bassett: What the hell do you use it for?
Burt Gummer: My cannon!

Donny: What the fuck is this?!
Spa worker: It's water infused with cucumber, rose petal and harvest sandalwood.
Donny: Tastes like fucking dick infused with balls.

Sammy Jankis: What the fuck?
Doctor: It's a test, Sammy.
Sammy Jankis: Test this, you fucking quack!

Messenger: [Leonidas has kissed the Persian's messenger on the mouth] What was that?
Leonidas: That is how men great each other in Sparta: high-fives for the women and open-mouthed tongue kisses for the men!

Richard Vernon: What was that ruckus?
Andrew Clark: Uh, what ruckus?
Richard Vernon: I was just in my office and I heard a ruckus.
Brian Johnson: Could you describe the ruckus, sir?

What's the most resilient parasite? An Idea. A single idea from the human mind can build cities. An idea can transform the world and rewrite all the rules. Which is why I have to steal it.

Cobb

What's this day of rest shit? What's this bullshit? I don't fuckin' care! It don't matter to Jesus. But you're not foolin' me, man. You might fool the fucks in the league office, but you don't fool Jesus. This bush league psyche-out stuff. Laughable, man - ha ha! I would have fucked you in the ass Saturday. I fuck you in the ass next Wednesday instead. Wooo! You got a date Wednesday, baby!

Jesus Quintana

Pinto: What's your major?
Pinto's Date: Primitive cultures.

Claire Standish: What's your name?
John Bender: What's yours?
Claire Standish: Claire.
John Bender: Claire?
Claire Standish: Claire. It's a family name.
John Bender: Oh, it's a fat girl's name.
Claire Standish: Oh, thank you.
John Bender: You're welcome.
Claire Standish: I'm not fat.
John Bender: Well, not at present.

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