Girl: Can you sign a copy of your book for me. I got it on ebay.
Uncle Ben: They sell my shit on ebay?
Guy: You wrote a book?
Uncle Ben: Yeah, that was back when I was drinking.

Amber Van Tussle: Do you relate to the music of Leslie Gore?
Nadine: Look, she ain't no James Brown... but I can dance to Lawrence Welk if I have to.

Ahaha! To the top of Mount Nool, as fast as lightning, away I go!

Horton

And just to set the record straight... Roy O'Bannon is not attracted to loose women; loose women are attracted to me.

Roy

Don't blame me. I'm an interpreter. I'm not supposed to know a power socket from a computer terminal.

C-3PO

Michael Newman: You've gotta show me how you do the quarter trick, it's driving me crazy!
Ted: A good magician never reveals his secrets... however, if you invite us over for dinner more often...
Michael Newman: You can come over tomorrow night and the next night and the next night and whenever you want!

Edward Cole: I want my own room.
Thomas: You run hospitals, not health spas. Two beds to a room, no exceptions.

Hey, we've all wanted to do that to Vice Principal Simms. I know I have. But a line has been crossed. You can't eat the teachers, man!

Wade

Rosalyn Rosenfeld: Life is ridiculous. And you know that I would never say anything bad about your father in front of you, but your father is a sick son-of-a bitch.
Danny Rosenfeld: Daddy's a sick son-of-a-bitch?
Rosalyn Rosenfeld: Don't repeat that... but yes.

Christopher Pike: This is Captain Christopher Pike. To whom am I speaking?
Nero: Hi, Christopher. I'm Nero.

This guy don't wanna win no battle he's shook 'cause ain't no such thing as HALFWAY CROOKS.

B. Rabbit

Indiana Jones: Where'd they go? Into space?
Professor 'Ox' Oxley: Not into space... into the space between spaces.

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