I'm being toyed with by a bunch of depraved children.

Nicholas

I have great insight. I'd use it on myself only I don't have any problems.

Alex Fletcher

A new addition to the liturgy?

Comte de Reynaud

Yeah, I was in the show. I was in the show for 21 days once - the 21 greatest days of my life. You know, you never handle your luggage in the show, somebody else carries your bags. It was great. You hit white balls for batting practice, the ballparks are like cathedrals, the hotels all have room service, and the women all have long legs and brains.

Crash Davis

Will Burton: So, how big is this whole bandslam thing around here?
Sam: Texas high school football big.

Brenda: Just wait until he lands on my old Kentucky home.
Bill: More beer? More beer.

Claire Standish: He's just doing it to get a rise out of you. Just ignore him.
John Bender: Sweets. You couldn't ignore me if you tried. So... so. Are you guys like boyfriend-girlfriend? Steady dates? Lovers? Come on, sporto, level with me. Do you slip her the hot beef injection?
Claire Standish: Go to HELL.
Andrew: Enough.
Richard Vernon: Hey. What's the hell's goin in there? Spoiled brats.

[suited up] You know what the difference is between you and me? I make this look GOOD.

Jay

I may not do everything great in my life, but I'm good at this. I manage to touch people's lives with what I do and I want to share this with you.

Carl Casper

Lewis: Why would his motto be "Keep moving forward?"
Wilbur: It's what he does.
Lewis: What does that mean?
Wilbur: That is an excellent question.

Tibby: Hey, do you know who would have loved this P, Bee? Your mom.
Bridget: Yeah. I remember this one time she decided that she'd make one herself. She always woke up starving after one of her episodes. I was just sitting in the kitchen doing my homework and she just walked in and just started making this thing. You know, I don't even know if you could call it a pizza. It was more like the entire contents of our refrigerator on a round crust.

Will Hayes: I had two serious girlfriends... and then some other smattering of other women.
Maya Hayes: What's the boy word for 'slut'?
Will Hayes: They still haven't come up with one yet.

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