Dean 'MF' Jones: "Most killers are first timers. You want to pull off a brilliant murder, you've gotta act like it's an accident. If you do it right, you ain't even gotta be there when it goes down."
Nick: "How are we supposed to fake three accidents?"
Dean 'MF' Jones: "You stalk your prey. You've gotta be smart: find out where they live, find out their habits - what's their hobbies, what they like, what type of food they like. Even if you pull it off perfectly, you crackers got motives. The 'po-po'
Kurt (whispers to Dale): "That means police."
Dean 'MF' Jones: "...will still put it to you."
Nick: "We all have clear motives for killing our bosses, so this is not gonna work - this is garbage."
Dean 'MF' Jones: "Why don't you kill each others bosses?"
Kurt: "That's actually a good idea. Yeah like Hitchcock's 'Strangers on a Train,' right?"
Dale: "The Danny DeVito movie - it's a funny one!"
Kurt: "The famous Alfred Hitchcock/Danny DeVito movie..." (slaps Dale) "that's the one."

Ned: "Needle-nose Ned"? "Ned the Head"? C'mon, buddy. Case Western High. I did the whistling belly-button trick at the high school talent show? Bing. Ned Ryerson, got the shingles real bad senior year, almost didn't graduate? Bing, again. Ned Ryerson? I dated your sister Mary Pat a couple of times until you told me not to anymore? Well?
Phil: Ned Ryerson!
Ned: BING!
Phil: Bing.

Of course. Vargas does not drink... does not smoke... does not make love. What do you do, Vargas?

Emilio Largo

Oh, he's very popular Ed. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, waistoids, dweebies, dickheads - they all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude.

Grace

Oh man! How'd you get the beans above the frank?!

Mary's Stepfather

Mary Katherine Gallagher: Oh my God!
Jesus: Oh my Me! How are you?
Mary Katherine Gallagher: It's going OK. Are you the Lord?
Jesus: Well, to you I am. See, technically, you're, like, in this REM sleep state, and I'm a mixture of your mind's images of God, some past authority figures, uh, Skye, and your dad. Basically, your subconcsious came up with me to help you deal. Dig?
Mary Katherine Gallagher: Yeah... uh, you want a glass of water or something?
Jesus: No, I'm good. I'm God!
Mary Katherine Gallagher: Oh. Right.

Oh, no no no no. Dead broad off the table.

Shrek

[on phone to Dominic Toretto while in Tokyo] Dominic Toretto. You don't know me, but you're about to.

Deckard Shaw

Tyra Banks: You're not married, you're on the wrong side of 40, and child-less. Somebody close to you said: One more flop, and it's over.
Tugg Speedman: [pause] Somebody said they were close to me?

Ms. Perky: People perceive you as somewhat...
Kat Stratford: Tempestuous?
Ms. Perky: "Heinous bitch" is the term used most often.

Dr. Lewis Meldman: May I ask you a question doctor, and I don’t mean to be insensitive. But, does Dr. Pinchelow has Aspergers?
Lloyd Christmas: Probably, I know he doesn’t wipe very well.

Captain Ramius: Re-verify our range to target... one ping only.
Capt. Vasili Borodin: Captain, I... I... I just...
Captain Ramius: Give me a ping, Vasili. One ping only, please.
Capt. Vasili Borodin: Aye, Captain.

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