Donger's here for five hours, and he's got somebody. I live here my whole life, and I'm like a disease.


A cappella with sock puppets? Genius!

Fat Amy

[Escaping captivity, Roger Thornhill slips in through the window of a darkened hospital room. Immediately the light is snapped on. A woman patient sits up in the bed, reaching for her glasses]
Hospital Patient: STOP!
Roger Thornhill: [stops] Oh. Excuse me.
[resumes moving towards the door]
Roger Thornhill: [She has put on her glasses and gets a good look at him]
Hospital Patient: [plaintively] Stop.
[Thornhill pauses, turns briefly to warn her off with a raised finger, then rushes out the door]

Anakin: I've built a racer. It's the fastest ever! There's a big race tomorrow on Boonta Eve. You could enter my pod. It's all but finished...
Shmi Skywalker: Anakin, Watto won't let you...
Anakin: Watto, doesn't know I've built it. You could make him think it was yours and you could get him to let me pilot it for you.
Shmi Skywalker: I don't want you to race Anni, it's awful. I die every time Watto makes you do it.
Anakin: But mom, I love it. The prize money would more than pay for the parts they need.

White Goodman: [about Average Joe's] Oh, really, you like it over there with those freaks in Losertown?
Kate Veatch: Freaks? They're not freaks, they're people just like you and me.
White Goodman: People, haha, people just like you and me! That is what I love about you Kate! You've got a *personality*!

Fairchild Van Waldenberg: Mommy and Daddy would've wanted you to do it!
Stranz Van Waldenberg: Yeah, remember how they used to be alive?

The battle of Helm's Deep is over; the battle for Middle Earth is about to begin.


My other interviews have pinned you as a mass murderer, blood sucker, pimp, profiteer and my personal favorite, yuppie Mephistopheles.

Heather Holloway

Honey, this is nasty business.

Corrine Whitman

Therapist: We have some new-comers here today. Please say hello to Scott and his father Mr... Ev-ille?
Dr. Evil: Evil, Actually, Dr. Evil.
The Group: Hello, Scott. Hello, Dr. Evil.
Scott Evil: Hi, everybody.

Jackie Moon: In the anals of history people are going to be talking about three things: the discovery of fire, invention of the submarine, and the Flint, Michigan Mega Bowl.

Banky Edwards: Alright, now see this? This is a four-way road, OK? And dead in the center is a crisp, new, hundred dollar bill. Now, at the end of each of these streets are four people, OK? Are you following?
Holden: Yeah.
Banky Edwards: Good. Over here, we have a male-affectionate, easy to get along with, non-political agenda lesbian. Down here, we have a man-hating, angry as fuck, agenda of rage, bitter dyke. Over here, we got Santa Claus, and up here the Easter Bunny. Which one is going to get to the hundred dollar bill first?
Holden: What is this supposed to prove?
Banky Edwards: No, I'm serious. This is a serious exercise. It's like an SAT question. Which one is going to get to the hundred dollar bill first? The male-friendly lesbian, the man-hating dyke, Santa Claus, or the Easter bunny?
Holden: The man-hating dyke.
Banky Edwards: Good. Why?
Holden: I don't know.
Banky Edwards: Because the other three are figments of your fucking imagination!

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