Harry, the clock on that nine-foot nuclear weapon is ticking.


Riddle me this, what sort of a man has bats on the brain?

The Riddler

Steven Connolly: What're you having for tea, Miss?
Sheba Hart: I don't know, I'll probably buy something on the way home.
Steven Connolly: Are you a good cook?
Sheba Hart: Not really.
Steven Connolly: You suck?
Sheba Hart: [turns around and notices Steven's sly grin] Go home, Steven.

Don't pop a blood vessel you little penis.

Chev Chelios

Elwood: Oh no.
Jake: What the fuck was that?
Elwood: The motor. We've thrown a rod.
Jake: Is that serious?
Elwood: Yup.

Yeah, that's it. I got a student alt rock band coming on next. Mitch, I own six speaker cities. I am worth three a half million dollars that the government knows about. I got more electronics up there than a damn KISS concert. you think I'm gonna roll out this type of red carpet for a fucking marching band? Just make sure you can see the stage.


Britney Spears: Is it true what they say about you?
Mini-me: [whispers in her ear]
Britney Spears: Kickstand? Can I give you my cell phone number? Please?

Max: All Halloween I've been running into someone I used to know.
Penelope: [wearing a pig mask] This someone - she meant a lot to you?
Max: Yes, yes she did.
Penelope: What happened?
Max: I couldn't give her what she wanted.
Penelope: What did she want?
Max: To be free.

[on Captain Howard and Captain Sinclair, having another vicious argument] They should just bone and get that shit over with.

Mike Lowrey

Capt. West: Commander Galloway, why don't you get yourself a cup of coffee.
Galloway: Thank you, sir, I'm fine
Capt. West: Commander, I'd like you to leave the room so we can talk about you behind your back
Galloway: Certainly, sir.

Will: How can you live with yourself watching people die right next to you?
Sylvia: You don't watch. You close your eyes.

Horizontal boosters. Alluvial dampers. Ow. That's not it, bring me the Hydrospanner. I don't know how we're going to get out of this one.

Han Solo

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