Dr. Alan Grant: Kids! You want to have one of those?
Dr. Ellie Sattler: I don't want that kid, but a breed of child Dr. Grant could be intriguing. I mean, what's so wrong with kids?
Dr. Alan Grant: Oh, Ellie, look, they're noisy, they're messy, they're expensive.
Dr. Ellie Sattler: Cheap... cheap...
Dr. Alan Grant: They smell.
Dr. Ellie Sattler: They do not smell.
Dr. Alan Grant: Some of them smell.
Dr. Ellie Sattler: Oh, give me a break!
Dr. Alan Grant: Babies smell!
Kai: Your brother wasn't suited to lead.
Han Sing: That's why you killed him?
Kai: That's why I had to!
Han Sing: That... was a mistake!
Edie Stall: What is it?
Tom Stall: I remember the moment I knew you were in love with me. I saw it in your eyes. I can still see it.
Edie Stall: 'Course you can, I still love you.
Tom Stall: I'm the luckiest son-of-a-bitch alive.
Edie Stall: You are the best man I've ever known. There is no luck involved.
We go back a while. We were at the Academy together, we were commissioned together, and did our tours of duty in 'Nam together. But, I've been promoted up the chain with greater speed and success than you have. Now, if that's a source of tension or embarrassment for you, I don't give a shit. We're in the business of saving lives, Lieutenant Colonel Markinson. Don't ever question my orders in the presence of another officer. You're dismissed.Col. Jessep
Janine Melnitz: You are so kind to take care of that man. You know, you're a real humanitarian.
Dr. Egon Spengler: I don't think he's human.
Would I be correct in thinking that you can neither see nor hear me? Then I'd like to tell you that you smell of pee. You look like the wrong end of a dog. And I swear, if I don't get my Tristan back as he was, I'll be your personal poltergeist!Yvaine
Dan Foreman: How are you?
Morty: Not so good, not so good. I mean psychologically.
Dan Foreman: I'm sorry.
Morty: That's okay. Anyway my wife got a promotion. I'm hoping she'll raise my allowance.
Lou Bloom: I'm starting a TV news business. I film breaking stories. Maybe you saw my item this morning, a fatal car jacking.
Rick: No, I mean, I don't have a TV.
Lou Bloom: Do you have a cell phone?
Lou Bloom: Does it have GPS?
Lou Bloom: Congratulations, you're hired.
Commanderette Zircon: Shall I have Snotty beam you down, sir?
President Skroob: I don't know about this beaming stuff? Is it safe?
Commanderette Zircon: Oh yes, sir. Snotty beamed me twice last night. It was wonderful.
Boy at Bus Stop: [taps a sleeping Hancock] Hancock!
[hits him to wake up]
Boy at Bus Stop: Hancock!
Hancock: What, boy?
Boy at Bus Stop: [points to TV screens] Bad guys.
Hancock: What, you want a cookie? Get the hell out my face.
Boy at Bus Stop: Jackass.
Boy at Bus Stop: You heard me.
Hal Jordan: This ring said I had a great responsibility...
Thomas Kalmaku: Responsibility? You?
Hal Jordan: Let's hope so!
Adult Pi Patel: What has mamaji already told you?
Writer: He said you had a story that would make me believe in God.
Adult Pi Patel: [laughs] He would say that about a nice meal.