Don't pop a blood vessel you little penis.

Chev Chelios

You're gonna eat lightnin' and you're gonna crap thunder!


Mini-Me: [Mini-Me unzips his pants]
Nigel Powers: My lord! you're a tripod. What you been feedin' that thing, eh? It looks like a baby's arm holding an apple. Good thing is, if you ever get tired, you can use it as a kickstand!

Rusty: God, I'm bored!
Danny: You look bored.
Rusty: I am bored!
Rusty: How was the clink? You get the cookies I sent?
Danny: Why do you think I came to see you first?

Elwood: Oh no.
Jake: What the fuck was that?
Elwood: The motor. We've thrown a rod.
Jake: Is that serious?
Elwood: Yup.

Yeah, that's it. I got a student alt rock band coming on next. Mitch, I own six speaker cities. I am worth three a half million dollars that the government knows about. I got more electronics up there than a damn KISS concert. you think I'm gonna roll out this type of red carpet for a fucking marching band? Just make sure you can see the stage.


Britney Spears: Is it true what they say about you?
Mini-me: [whispers in her ear]
Britney Spears: Kickstand? Can I give you my cell phone number? Please?

Max: All Halloween I've been running into someone I used to know.
Penelope: [wearing a pig mask] This someone - she meant a lot to you?
Max: Yes, yes she did.
Penelope: What happened?
Max: I couldn't give her what she wanted.
Penelope: What did she want?
Max: To be free.

Capt. West: Commander Galloway, why don't you get yourself a cup of coffee.
Galloway: Thank you, sir, I'm fine
Capt. West: Commander, I'd like you to leave the room so we can talk about you behind your back
Galloway: Certainly, sir.

Will: How can you live with yourself watching people die right next to you?
Sylvia: You don't watch. You close your eyes.

Horizontal boosters. Alluvial dampers. Ow. That's not it, bring me the Hydrospanner. I don't know how we're going to get out of this one.

Han Solo

Skipper: Alright, you! Where's Dave?
Skipper: Give us the good.
Kowalski: Sir, that's a baby squid.
Skipper: Sorry, laddie.

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