My mom told me Florida was so sunny and gorgeous, that everybody in America wanted to live there. Everybody except me. And as usual, I was out-voted.

Roy Eberhardt

With enough courage, you can do without a reputation.

Rhett Butler

Please, Sayuri, do not be afraid to look at me.

Chairman

Commanderette Zircon: Shall I have Snotty beam you down, sir?
President Skroob: I don't know about this beaming stuff? Is it safe?
Commanderette Zircon: Oh yes, sir. Snotty beamed me twice last night. It was wonderful.

When a man is a widower why do we say he was widowed? Why don't we say he was widowered?

Annie Reed

At my signal, unleash hell.

Maximus

Wipe your face before you get up, Dean.

Paul Edgecomb

Michael Newman: [looking in a mirror] You look a little pale there, pal. Let me fix that.
Michael Newman: [Changes his skin color to yellow] You're all yellow from the scurvy. Arr, captain.
Michael Newman: [Changes his skin color to green] Grr... Don't get the Hulk angry. Raaaahrrr!
Michael Newman: [Changes his skin color to purple] Oh, there's Barney.
[starts to sing]
Michael Newman: I love you, you love me, the jogger has giant boobies.

Rule number 1 - never propose to a woman on a bus. Rule number 2 - Don't tell her it's because you had a bad dream.

June Carter

Dottie: Hello?
Pee-wee: Hi, Dottie, it's Pee-wee!
Dottie: Pee-wee? Where are you calling from?
Pee-wee: Texas!
Dottie: Huh?
Pee-wee: Honest! I'll prove it!
Pee-wee: The stars at night are big and bright...
Passersby: [singing and clapping] ... deep in the heart of Texas!

Ladies, we're gonna have some fun

Stuntman Mike

Peter Parker: I want you to know, that I will always be there for you; I will always be there to take care of you. I promise you that. I will always be your friend.
Mary Jane: Only a friend, Peter Parker?
Peter Parker: That's all I have to give...

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