We are card counters at the blackjack table. And we're gonna turn the odds on the casino.

Billy Beane

We fight and then we fuck, that's our thing.

Rosalyn Rosenfeld

Delmar O'Donnell: We thought you was a toad!
Pete: What?
Delmar O'Donnell: [leaning in, speaking slower] We thought you was a toad!

We will be perfect in every aspect of the game. You drop a pass, you run a mile. You miss a blocking assignment, you run a mile. You fumble the football, and i will break my foot off in your John Brown hind parts and then you will run a mile. Perfection. Let's go to work.

Coach Boone

What kind of grown-ass man calls himself "Puffy?"

Voletta Wallace

Melinda Moores: What's your name?
John Coffey: John Coffey, ma'am.
Melinda Moores: Like the drink, only not spelled the same.
John Coffey: No, ma'am. Not spelt the same at all.

"When a monkey nibbles on a weenis, it's funny in any language."

Alan

Harry: Where's the booze?
Lloyd: I got robbed by a sweet old lady on a motorized cart. I didn't even see it coming.
Harry: Oh, no, no.
Lloyd: Come on, Harry.
Harry: It gets worse. My parakeet, Petey.
Lloyd: Yeah?
Harry: He's dead.
Lloyd: Oh, man, I'm sorry. What happened?
Harry: His head fell off.
Lloyd: His head fell off?
Harry: Yeah. He was pretty old.

Dan: Why did you fuck him?
Alice: I wanted to.
Dan: Why?
Alice: I desired him.
Dan: Why?
Alice: You weren't there!
Dan: Why him?
Alice: He asked me nicely.
Dan: You're a liar.
Alice: So?
Dan: Who are you?
Alice: I'm no one!
[Alice spits in Dan's face. Dan raises his hand to slap her]
Alice: Go on, hit me. It's what you want. Come on, hit me, you fucker!

Nicholas Angel: With respect, sir, you can't just make people disappear.
Chief Inspector: Yes I can, I'm the Chief Inspector.
Nicholas Angel: Well however you spin this, there's one thing you haven't taken into account. And that's what the team are gonna make of this.
[gets up and opens the door, where the team standing below a sign reading 'Good Luck Nicholas']

[on the phone] Yeah, you gave me the wrong suitcase. Uh-huh. Yes, it's a black Samsonite. Uh-huh. Ok, well don't you think that the Samsonite people, in some crazy scheme in order to make a profit, MADE MORE THAN ONE BLACK SUITCASE?

Greg Focker

Yogurt! Yogurt! I hate Yogurt! Even with Strawberries.

Dark Helmet

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